'Tales from the Crypt' Retro Recap: 'People Who Live in Brass Hearses'

​Written by Scott Edwards

There is nothing like a brotherly love, at least that is what I have been told by several people that have siblings. A bond from birth that nobody and nothing will be able to break, especially when one of them is in need of help. There might be some bad eggs out there when it comes to asking for help, but most of the time, it is something that they cannot do on their own. Following your sibling blindly if they ask for help might be something that has been taught to you over the years, but you have to remember to be careful, especially if they are asking something of you that goes against your morals.

After serving two years hard time in San Quentin, Billy DeLuca is ready to get some revenge on the man that put him there. With help from his little brother Virgil, Billy has come up with a plan to rob the ice cream warehouse that Virgil works at. Going over the plan, the only thing that Virgil is able to focus on is the Jessie James comic book he is reading and making sure that he and his brother are like Jessie and Frank in the book. While reciting the plan for his brother, Virgil messes up and starts to punish himself for being stupid. While Billy is able to calm him down, he wants to go on with the plan, since it will get the two paid.

Stalking a parking spot for the Ice Cream Man, Mr. Byrd, Billy wants to make sure that the man that sent him to prison knows he is out on the streets again. Confronting Mr. Byrd while doing his show, Billy tries to show that he has turned over a new leaf and thanks the old man for turning him in.  While everything seems to hunky dory, Billy is ready to take out his two years of hard time on the old man and the plan is ready to become reality. While at the warehouse, Virgil is starting to work on his half of the plan while his boss, Mrs. Grafungar is yelling and screaming at him when Mr. Byrd pulls in for his pickup. As Billy shows up, he sees that his brother may not be fully in the game and after the two fight, Billy is able to get him to follow through. 

As Virgil follows Mrs. Grafungar into the office to secure the safe, Billy waits in the warehouse for Mr. Byrd to get out of the truck.  However when Virgil comes out of the office covered in blood, Billy knows that all bets are off for the brothers and the plan may have to change. Covering up the murder of Mrs. Grafungar and losing out on the money in the safe, Billy decides to take it to the next level and goes to Mr. Byrd’s house. Virgil unloads his shotgun in Mr. Byrd’s head before any questions are answered causing his brother to go into panic mode. Not being able to leave empty handed, Billy starts digging through the house like a madman. Finding a cache of cash, there may be no snowball chance in hell that he will be able to spend it.

Not having a brother or sister, this kind of interaction may be a bit lost on me, but I have seen how my friends fight and make up with their siblings, so I kind of get the gist. I must admit that I love the rivalry that is presented in this episode, especially since Billy and Virgil do not know how to deal with anything. With Virgil being a bit slow as well, it shows how vulnerable the relationship can get, especially when there is no power to say that something is wrong. Starring Bill Paxton as Billy, Brad Dourif as Virgil, Lainie Kazan as Mrs. Grafungar and Michael Lerner as Mr. Byrd. This is a great little sibling rivalry story that turns bloody and has quite the chocolate swirl of a twist.  Until next time kiddies, Stay Scared.

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