‘Tales from the Darkside’ Retro Recap: ‘Anniversary Dinner’

Written by John Edward Betancourt

We tend to believe… that evil is something that is eager to telegraph its motivations and intentions to the world and it makes sense as to why we hold to that belief. Because our introduction to it and the majority of our interactions with it, revolve around very public acts from evil. The kind that makes the six o’clock news or interrupts our scheduled programming, and the ‘evilest of the evil’, are quick to release some kind of statement/manifesto to explain why they chose to hurt people and well… seeing that often on television and online, really does make it seem as though evil is all about the spotlight and has no problem with attention.  
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But the fact of the matter is, that’s only a sampling of what evil is like in our world, and the folks that are eager to do bad and make headlines, indulge ego alongside evil. Which makes those individuals nothing more than grandstanding monsters in need of attention really, and that is not indicative of what evil is like in the slightest. For real evil, doesn’t want to be seen or acknowledged, so that it can operate with impunity for as long as it exists in this life, and that’s the kind of evil we don’t talk about or spotlight enough when in fact… we should. Because this is the brand of evil that is operating under our noses and doing awful things while we go about our day. But now and again, we are eager to discuss it and raise awareness of its true colors through storytelling or the news or other means, and it just so happens that the next episode of Tales from the Darkside, takes the time to do just that.

A feat that ‘Anniversary Dinner’ accomplishes, by introducing us to what appears to be a loving and docile couple named Henry and Elinor Colander. Whom live by themselves on an out of the way farm and they are enjoying their twilight years in each’s other company and through memories of their beloved children… whom they speak of often. But one day, their isolation comes to a screeching halt when a drifter named Sybil appears on their property. For Sybil is hungry and in need of a fresh start and the Colander’s are eager to provide her with that. Provided of course, she helps them with their upcoming 25th Anniversary Dinner. Something that Sybil is more than happy to take part in for room and board and food. But the only problem with her eagerness, is that she isn’t really asking for quality details on what her involvement entails, and because of that… she is going to be in for a horrifying surprise.

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Which is a plot that is filled to the brim with all kinds of unsettling and unsavory implications that this couple might intend to eat Sybil, and you're right to think that. Because this is indeed a story about a pair of elder cannibals that use kindness to trap people and eat them, and that… makes for one horrifying tale. One that holds nothing back in its presentation of how cannibals might operate, since we also come to learn that they use their prized hot tub as a crock pot to cook their victims, with veggies no less, and that revelation and the other surprises present here, definitely leaves the viewer uncomfortable as well. Because cannibalism is of course, a huge red line topic and act, and it is made ten times worse here courtesy of the fact that seemingly innocent old people are happy and overtly eager to take part in it.
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However, it is that grand reveal that Henry and Elinor are eager to have Sybil Stew for their anniversary dinner, and the lead up to it… that hammers home the central theme of this tale. Because it also becomes clear that this couple have eaten a lot of people and prefer children as their meat of choice (a revelation that comes complete with a slight implication they might have eaten their own), and in order to enjoy that many human based meals… discretion is in order. Because no one can know of such appalling acts, and no one can suspect they would be capable of it. So, they clearly played up the kindness and did everything to say out of sight and mind throughout the years. Making it clear that real evil, like the kind we see here… handles its business in the shadows and only hits the news when a slip up comes into play.

Which is commentary that makes for one brilliant episode. Because in 1985… this wasn’t something people were really thinking of or discussing, making this a story ahead of its time for certain. But we would be remiss to not point out, that this is also a genuinely screwed up and twisted tale. Because it is just messed up to watch a pair of sweet little old people drool over the prospect of eating the wrong of kind of Manwich. Which means that this is also a top-notch horror story, one that genuinely disturbs and unsettles. And well… now that we’ve reached the end of this twisted dinner tale, it’s onto another fascinating examination of the human condition. One that explores how low we will sink to get what we want when we're desperate, even when we have more than the average person. Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.

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