"Tales from the Crypt" Retro Recap: "On a Deadman's Chest"

Written by Scotty

You hear it all over news these days, bands breaking up for one reason or another.  Knowing what I have heard over the years, I would always tell people that are looking to start a band to make sure they have their lives figured out before even attempting it. With all of the things that are thrown at the stars when they are on the road, it is amazing that all of our favorite singers make it back home in one piece.  But hey, it is the price of fame and there are several others that are able to make it work out for them.

The rock band Exorcist is back from two years on the road and loving life.  Their lead guitarist, writer and producer Nick Bosch has even found love, marrying Scarlett on the road.  Although the couple is happy and looking to live their life to the fullest, the lead singer Danny Darwin is not on board. Knowing that Scarlett is a distraction to the band and their fans, he wants to make things as uncomfortable as possible for the new addition of his rock family.  Danny’s groupie, Vendetta feels the same way about the harpy and wants her gone and while trying to get Danny’s mind off of the distraction, she gives him an idea to get a new tattoo. 

While complaining about the future of the band, Danny thinks this is a great idea and goes to the shop to get a tiger on his chest, but the tattoo artist has something else in mind.  Farouche believes that everyone’s body has a story to tell and it is up to him to find and unlock it in a tattoo.  Danny does not seem too keen on the idea, but goes along with it and comes out with some ink that will change his outlook on life forever.  Scarlett has been placed on his chest and no matter what he tries, she remains there and he must find a way to get her out of his life, forever.

After Scarlett confronts Danny about his attitude and what it is doing to her relationship with Nick, Danny has something else to say but has to wait until the night of show to tell her.  Sneaking away from sound check, Danny finds the young bride in the bathroom and unprepared for what comes next.  As Danny eliminates Scarlett from the equation, he returns to the venue and prepares for his show.  But his tattoo is hurting more than ever and with it coming to life in front of his very eyes, Danny must find a way to keep the recently deceased Scarlett from getting under his skin ever again.

Wow, after watching this episode, I am pretty sure I will never even think about getting a tattoo again.  If I had an artist that is looking for my body to tell a story, and if it has something to do with my deepest desires, I would have gnomes galore going crazy on my arms.  It might not seem that scary right now, but think about and it will send chills up your spine.  With a great cast bringing the story to life, Yul Vazquez as Danny, Paul Hipp as Nick, Tia Carrere as Scarlett, Sherrie Rose as Vendetta and Heavy D as Farouche, this is a gleaming tribute to the rock industry.  With no drug use and just drinking, maybe some of today’s stars could learn a lesson from it, and even better, lay off the tattoos.  Until next time kiddies, Stay Scared.

---