Retro Recap - Tales from the Crypt: "Judy, You're Not Yourself Today"

Written by Scotty

Wanting to be somebody else is dream everybody has.  Living the lavish life of a rich person, getting shot into space as an astronaut, being secluded on an island with a crush, whatever floats your boat, but we have all thought about it.  But if you are thinking about it, you know that other people have thought about it as well, and although your life may not seem to be what you dreamed it to be, it might be to someone else.

Judy and Donald are living their lavish lifestyle in their middle class suburban home without a care in the world.  Pretending to be members of the upper class, they do their best not to break character while dining alone.  But when the doorbell rings and an anti-gun rights solicitor is at the door, Donald wants the young man to know who he is messing with.  Taking his shotgun to the door, Donald points it at the young man every time he mentions something bad about firearms, but to get the man to leave, he puts the barrel to his wife’s head and pulls the trigger.

Judy is used to this kind of behavior from her husband, but it is taking its toll on her and she is starting to notice what all of the stress is doing to her face when looking in the mirror.  Seeing some wrinkles coming in, she blames Donald’s out of the ordinary tactics.  Donald takes this with a grain of salt and heads to the NRA gun club, but Judy gets another strange visitor at the door.  An old cosmetics lady who is only supposed to sell her high end products to high end cliental. Judy pulls out her upper class speaking accent again and plays along with the old woman, but takes notice in the necklace the woman has on and cannot take her eyes off of it.  The old woman allows Judy to try it on, but she has an alternative motive when she activates the power of the necklace.

Switching bodies, Judy is now left in the old woman’s, while her body is at the train station.  Donald has to act fast to find a way to get his wife her body back and comes up a lie that her body is tainted.  Not wanting to waste her time in the new body, the Witch activates the necklace once again and returns to her old body.  Arriving home, Donald takes blind shots with his pistol at the old woman, and one shot finds its place in her chest.  Killing the old woman, Donald buries her in the basement, but all is still not good in their household.  The necklace is still the center of attention of Judy and she wants to have access to it at all times.  Sneaking out of bed, she is able to release the piece of jewelry from the safe and puts it on once again, only to find that despite the Witch’s death, she is still alive.  Switching bodies once again, Donald is assaulted by a corpse of a woman that has been placed six feet under, along with his wife’s body.  Having to figure out who is who, Donald has to think quickly once again, but when struggling with the Witch, his revolver goes off and the final body switch will be sealed, forever.

This story made me laugh more than be scared, but I do think I understand what the message of it was.  Be careful in wishing to be someone you are not, as others who are wishing for the same thing may be able to make it happen.  That’s what I am going with anyway.  With bad rich people accents and a ton of guns, this is the ultimate eighties story that should not be lost on anyone, since that is the way it used to be.  Staring Frances Bay as the Witch, Carol Kane as Judy and Brian Kerwin as Donald, this is a story that will go down as a lost love with the promise of nothing in return.  Until next time kiddies, Stay Scared.

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