Nerds That Geek Movie Review: ‘The Shallows’

Written by Scott Edwards

I must admit that I do love to sit down and listen to my elders tell their war stories. Living in a different era, it is fun to hear how much the times have changed, no matter what industry they worked in. As things are changing on the daily these days, it is hard to even remember that there was a time before Smart Phones and how people used to get away by simply not being home. Sometimes I think that people need to step back and remember that not everything we do these days needs to be focused around technology, especially when there are beautiful locations that you can visit to take your mind off of everything.

After losing her mother to a medical condition, Nancy has chosen to take a step back and go off the grid for a little while. Finding herself in Mexico and looking for a beach that her mother told her about when she was a little girl, it may give the dropped-out med student a sense of closure. Arriving at the beach and seeing an island that looks like a pregnant lady, Nancy knows that she has arrived and after a brief fight on the phone with her father, she is ready to hit the waves and try to put her life behind for a little while.

Meeting a couple of fellow surfers, Nancy gets a quick crash course on how the tides work, along with where to avoid when surfing in low tide. Catching some waves and taking in the sights, Nancy has found the greatest place on earth in her mind and does not want the day to end. Saying goodbye to her fellow surfers and waiting for one last wave, she spots something interesting a little further from the beach and heads over to check it out. Seeing a lifeless whale being fed on by seagulls, Nancy knows that she is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Trying to get out of the water as fast as possible, since there is a shark nearby, she frantically catches a wave, but her efforts don't matter as the Great White has his sights set on her.

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​Getting knocked off of her board, Nancy finds herself in a life and death match with the giant predator that has been able to get a sampling off of her thigh. Finding an island offshore to call her safe haven from the shark, Nancy needs to bandage herself up, along with try and find a way out of her situation. With the Great White circling her sanctuary, swimming to safety is not an option, but maybe there will be help coming when the sun comes back up.  Being woken up by a friendly injured seagull in the middle of the night, Nancy sees a drunk on the beach and is able to get his attention, but the drunk only wants what she has got and tries to retrieve Nancy’s surfboard, before finding out that the danger in the water does not only apply to her. Seeing her surfer buddies arrive in the morning, Nancy tries to warn them about the creature in the deep, but alas they both also fall victim to the hungry Great White. Time is not on her side since the tide is rising and her mini island paradise is about to be covered by water so she is left with no choice but to make her way for the buoy that has been toying with her ever since she arrived, yet the Great White is not ready to end his reign of terror on the surfer and is just biding his time to attack once again.

I wanted so much to like this movie, as so many people were like, 'you got to go see The Shallows, it’s a sweet shark movie!' I don’t know what they watched, but it was not the movie that I just finished, most of the time I forgot there was a shark and when he appeared, he looked like a poor man’s rip-off of a Jaws movie that made me afraid to take a bath. I really hate going after a horror/thriller movie, but honestly, this movie would have been better as a comedy, since in reality, it tells you everything that you should not do to avoid being stranded or eaten by a shark. Granted, Blake Lively turned in a decent performance, she had to since she was the only one on screen and she is very easy on the eyes, but when you sell me a shark movie and actually have people being killed in it, for the love of all that is holy, show the kills!
 
I guess that CGI has gone up in price since the 2000’s, because when you have a budget over ten million dollars with no cast, the sky should be the limit. I really wish there was more to this and since reality really did not exist in this movie, maybe adding flying sharks or a dolphin battle could have at least added something fun to the story. So if you want to see a dead whale (star of the show), CGI seagulls, (cute, but could have gotten real ones with a bag of French fries), a CGI Shark (that you only get to see eat one person), a lot of Blake Lively in a bikini (that was not as bad as the rest) and an alternate reality where one woman cannot die, no matter the circumstances, this is the movie for you. If not, go watch an Asylum Pictures shark movie like Sharknado, that is much more believable. Stay Scared.

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