Nerds That Geek Movie Review: ‘Santa’s Slay’

Written by Scott Edwards 

You better watch out, you’d better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why, Santa Claus is coming, to town. Never before have I seen this song be taken so literally as Christmas time has approached, however, it does not matter if you are naughty or nice for this Santa as he is hell bent on revenge. 

In the small community of Hell Township, spirits are high as the season approaches but no one is ready for what Christmas really brings. Grandpa Yuleson has been known for many years to be the strange old man of the community, with no one really knowing what is going through his head, all of his antics and inventions seem to keep him as an outcast. Not minding this reputation, Grandpa is not a huge fan of Christmas and believes that the only good gift is a practical gift and this is never lost on his grandson Nicholas.

Even though Nicholas needs to work for a living at the ripe full age of sixteen, he is starting to fall into the same attitude as his grandfather about the season, but tries with all of his might to keep a positive attitude around Mary Mackenzie. Mary is his co-worker at the local deli and she is hoping to see her friendship with Nicholas transform into something more, but keeps waiting for the young man to make the first move. When the two are sent home on Christmas Eve, they discuss their love and disgust for the season. 

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Hell Township receives a new visitor that seems to be a regular bell ringing Santa Claus, but what he has on his mind is much more vengeful than what the town could ever expect. Being made to be nice for the past one thousand years, Santa is ready to make the Christmas holiday the fright fest it deserved to be. Being the offspring of Satan, Santa runs around the town of Hell, killing, setting fires and looking for the ‘Angel’ he lost a bet to so many years ago, since that little wager has kept him from his hellish ways. Having only the day of Christmas to accomplish his goals, Santa is on a strict time table to find his adversary while still holding onto his powers.

Santa’s Slay keeps the action flowing, holiday style, as Santa continually looks for the ‘Angel’ he lost a bet to a thousand years prior. Knowing that he was in Hell Township from a letter his grandson wrote many years previous, Santa is looking for payback on the family, along with any bleeding heart that has pestered him with letters. Nicholas and Mary try to keep the evil Santa at bay, but when Santa is able to find the home the two are held up in, all bets are off. Disposing of his ancient adversary, along with a small portion of the town, Santa is ready to take his revenge to the next level. The two young lovebirds need to find a way to survive until the clock reaches midnight at the North Pole, but without anyone’s help, the two are destined to perish in Hell. 

It this a horror movie? Yes. A comedy? Yes. An action film? Yes. Santa’s Slay covers all of the key factors to being a great holiday ride. With Santa killing off some of the naughty’s in the community, he also kills off many of the nice’s as well. Using anything at his disposal, Santa is hell bent to get back to his old terrifying ways and it just leaves a smile on your face. While this is not the greatest Christmas movie ever made, it will keep you laughing as the one liners are just atrocious. ‘If you see Santa tonight… run!’ Stay Scared!

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