Nerds That Geek Movie Review: ‘I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House’

Written by Scott Edwards

​Whenever a thriller or horror movie comes out that has a cool description or tag line attached to it, you know that I am game to give it a look. More often than not I like what I see, even if the movie has been poorly received by the masses. There are very few times that I actually dislike a movie and give up on it before the end credits roll, because the writing or acting has kept my attention throughout and I want to know what happens at the very end. I will admit that I have been a sucker for a bunch of stinkers in my time and while there are aspects of these movies that leave me longing, there is usually some sort of redemption to be found, but when that is not present, I am left asking myself about my life choices and wondering if there is a way out of it before time runs out.
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Arriving at famed horror novelist Iris Blum’s house, Lily is ready to get to work as soon as possible. Being a hospice nurse and knowing that the old woman will wind up passing away quickly, Lily tries to make sure that her remaining time is as comfortable as possible. Getting to know the ins and outs around the house very quickly, there is a pounding that comes along whenever it starts to rain outside that she cannot explain.  Also Iris is calling her by the wrong name, calling for Polly when things start to get a little difficult.

Chalking it up to the house being old and Iris being on her last legs, Lily puts little thought into what is happening, even when the telephone is pulled from her hand forcefully. Seeing a bit of mold growing in the hallway, Lily points it out to Mr. Waxcap who is in charge of Ms. Blum’s estate. He does not think much of it but passes along a maintenance card to the young woman to get it repaired. Being able to get a little information on Polly from Mr. Waxcap, Lily finds out that the old woman is seeing an old character from her novel, The Woman in the Walls, in her, and wanting to find out why, Lily sits down and tries to read the book.

Being afraid of everything, Lily is able to read the first page and the forward of the book, but not much more since the ghosts in the book seem to be real for her. Hearing the dreaded thumping in the house again, Lily tries to investigate, but as always, finds nothing that could be causing it besides the rain that is beating down outside. Also finding an old television in the house, Lily is able to escape for a few hours at a time when a signal is found, but whenever the static plays, something seems to come alive behind her, be it Ms. Blum or what she believes is a ghost. As a year passes and Ms. Blum is still kicking, the old woman tells Lily about Polly who left her after only one story. Thinking that the woman might be crazy, Lily starts to understand the old woman’s pain and now Polly is quickly becoming part of Lily’s life whether she likes it or not.

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'A nervous nurse who scares easily finds herself caring for an ailing horror novelist while living in a house with hidden secrets.' That is the description I found online for this movie and that's what sold me on watching it, but there seems to be a bit less than that. When Lily is literally scared of her own shadow, that makes the movie feel much more forced than any ghost story should be. Oh yeah, there is a ghost in this movie as well as Polly is trapped inside of the walls and is focused on spooking Lily. I am still a little confused about the point of this movie, since there are so many things going on that don’t seem to lead anywhere at the end.

The point could be that television is evil, since something strange always happens when it turns on. Or music keeps the spirits at bay, since when Lily turns off Ms. Blum’s bedtime music she gets upset. Or ghosts are always there and want to kill you, since Lily is afraid of everything, what else is a ghost supposed to do to her? Or maybe the line between the living and dead is blurred, since the ghost is only seen in blurred vision, never in crystal clear fashion. I really don’t know, but what I do know is that the buildup in this movie is pretty weak and if you are going to pitch me a ghost story and tag it a thriller, there had better be thrills. When you find yourself hoping for rats or birds to come out to the shadows to scare the main character or at least have something happen, there might be something wrong with the movie you are watching.

Five Takeaways

1. Ghosts can never be seen clearly; they are always blurry and not very scary.
2. Mold can be caused by a warm winter when it rains instead of snows, moisture can do that in any house, even ones that are not haunted.
3. When strange things happen surrounding a television, you should probably turn it off, there could be a ghost in the machine.
4. When the person you are caring for is calling you by the name of a character, she wrote about many moons ago, she might be senile, or she might see something else in you that nobody has ever seen before.
5. When a phone is thrown from your hand and nobody is there, the house may be haunted, or you just dropped it fifteen feet from where you were sitting.

Bonus Takeaway

1. Ghosts that walk backwards are the scariest things out there, no really, they are, the back of a ghost is really frightening.

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