‘Tales from the Darkside’ Retro Recap: ‘The Word Processor of the Gods’

Written by John Edward Betancourt

One particularly tough lesson that few of us like to learn in life, is that we cannot change the choices we make in life, and we have to lie in the bed that we’ve made and what makes that lesson so tough to reconcile, is that we often know the end result of what we’re dealing with, could have gone a different route. Because we are curious creatures that analyze our every move and when this lesson comes around, it often involves the bitter truth that had we chosen differently in that moment or pondered for just a second, we could have been dealt a better hand. One that would have brought us great happiness and prosperity in whatever manner we were looking for.
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But while that is a sour realization to come to, we also know deep down that such mistakes are designed to help us grow and learn. So that we don’t make the same one twice and so we figure out how to make the most of the situation we are in and use it to guide us toward what we want via a different path. But sadly, it doesn’t work that way for everyone, and some folks are genuinely stuck with a tough hand, and they dream endlessly of a day where they can escape it and it just so happens that stories help them to cope with that. Since they can offer catharsis and guidance… or give them the fantasy escape they desire, and it is that latter concept that is of note today, since that is precisely what the next episode of Tales from the Darkside offers up…. in the most twisted way imaginable.

A feat that ‘The Word Processor of the Gods’ accomplishes, by plunging us into the life of a man that is not happy in the slightest with the path he’s chosen for himself. For aspiring writer Richard Hagstrom made every bad choice a man can make. He didn’t marry the girl of his dreams, he let a singular failure get the better of him and for his poor choices, he is now mired in doubt and in a loveless marriage from which there is no escape. That is… until a moment of heartbreak changes everything for Richard. For his late nephew John, built Uncle Richard a very special homemade word processor. One that not only will help Richard write but can change his life forever with the simple press of a button, provided of course, he's okay with what the ‘Delete’ button can remove from his life.

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Which is… a supremely bleak plot for certain, one that holds nothing back regarding the hell that comes about from making poor choices. Since Richard really is in quite the pickle life wise and he is genuinely miserable, and you feel for him every step of the way. Because his family is utterly rotten, and he is truly broken through and through and perhaps this part of the story can be viewed as something of a cautionary tale. One that reminds us to listen to our gut and go for the big moments we aren’t sure we can obtain… so we don’t settle and live with regret like Richard does here and well, this is definitely… some fine real-world horror for certain. Since so many of us have felt trapped like Richard or made poor choices akin to the ones he does in this tale.
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But there was mention of escape for both the casual viewer and those struggling with their current situation and the story offers that… by having the hunk of junk of Richard’s basement… work. For he is genuinely able to obtain riches untold and delete his cruddy wife and kid and replace them with the family he wants by way of the word processor, and that is indeed a wonderful way to provide that escape, regardless of its own horrifying nature. Because let’s be honest… it is a touch messed up that Richard is willing to delete entire lives and resurrect the dead in the name of his own personal gain, but that definitely hammers home the desperation Richard is experiencing and it is what truly makes this an outright tale of terror.

Because only in a cautionary horror tale, would the solution be twisted and dark, lending to the reality that if one is looking for true escape and/or guidance on such matters… to not use this episode to do so. But one cannot deny the effective nature of this story and how well it plunges us into a unique world of terror, one that also features some big names in front of and behind the camera. Since Bruce Davison is the star of this tale and sells the darkness with his incredible acting skills and once you realize that this is based off a short story by Stephen King, the twist and the cruelty make sense. In the end however, this is a solid episode through and through. One that truly takes us to a dark place and offers up some wild and uncomfortable twists and well, you can’t ask for much more than that from a horror anthology show. Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.

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