"Tales from the Crypt" Retro Recap: "Undertaking Parlor"

Written by Scotty

Wanting to get into the movie business has to be one of the hardest things to do, especially as a writer.  Having to come up with the next big thing that will keep the audiences glued to the screen is something that many people are not able to do.  But if you are lucky enough to have a script read by one of the higher-ups in the industry and what you have provided them with is golden, you might get your shot at having your name pop up on the big screen.  For most of us, this is just a pipe dream, but for the lucky ones, it is a dream come true.

Aaron, Norm, Jess and Josh are all about horror movies and having fun.  After leaving the theater, they all complain about how bad the movie was and that they were not scared at all.  Wanting to see if they could make something scarier, Josh dresses up in a black cloak and chases Norm into an alley way and scares the ever loving heck out of him.  Thinking that making a real horror movie would be a great idea, Jess comes up with the idea to break into the local undertaker’s building and get some footage of some real life dead people.

When getting into the undertaker’s working area, the boys find a dead body on the table, waiting to get embalmed, but they notice who the woman is.  The local librarian who they did not even know was sick, but before they know it, Mr. Esbrook, the undertaker comes back as his cheerful self.  Talking to his patient, the boys see that Esbrook is a little bit strange and after seeing him smash the deceased in the face with a sledge hammer, they want to get away as fast as possible. When the doorbell rings, Esbrook goes to answer it and the boys escape unnoticed, all but Norm who is privy to a very inside conversation.

Mr. Esbrook has been working with a doctor or a pharmacist to insure people around the town keep dying, so he will get customers.  With an arraignment between the two, they have a fine set up and are making money hand over fist.  Norm tells his friends what he heard, but when the boys reach Josh’s house, they find out that his father was the terrible twosome’s latest victim.  Swearing revenge on the men that did this to their friend’s father, the boys start to investigate and find that the other man was the owner of the local drug store, Mr. Grundy.  With all of the information at hand, the boys want to try to get the men together so they can catch everything on tape, but when their plan works out better than they expected, will they still be able to carry through with it, or will they become the next victims of the town’s undertaker?

This is really one messed up town where nobody seems to question deaths of its residents.  With such a scam going on and for who knows how long, there must be some very nice houses on the market for very, very low prices.  I liked how the boys had to grow up in a hurry to prove what is happening to their neighbors, along with their families.  When this show started, it just seemed like it was going to be a bunch of jokes and swearing, something that kids like to do, but once you get into the meat of it, you get to see them become upstanding members of the community.  Starring Aron Eisenberg as Aaron, Scott Fults as Norm, Jason Marsden as Jess, Jonathan Ke Quan as Josh and John Glover as Esbrook, you are sucked into a world of strange happenings, but all can be explained, if you have enough video tape.  Until next time kiddies, Stay Scared.

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