Nerds That Geek Movie Review: ‘Stitches’

Written by Scott Edwards

When we were young, we always wanted to have the best birthday parties ever with our friends. Yet there are some who wonder if their parents truly did those parties justice. Looking back, I wish they got a comedian or something, but I had the unfortunate gift of a clown coming into my home. I will not lie, clowns kind of freak me out to this day and I would seriously consider not getting one for my kids, knowing how they tormented my youth. But some people love clowns and what they bring to the table at parties, having to be a jack of all trades, they are the best to entertain kids young and old, for a fair price.

Tom is celebrating his tenth birthday with all of his friends. Although they are getting a little too old for the normal things that kids like, his mom still orders a clown for old times’ sake. None of the kids are willing to put up with the normal shenanigans of the painted faced entertainer and decide to play a little trick on him by tying his shoelaces together and knocking him over. Stitches is of course, clueless to this prank, and his resulting fall takes  him right into the dishwasher, where a large knife sticking up, which stabs him right though his eye.

Tom is distraught after the death of his entertainer and knows that it was all his fault as he planned the little trick to play on the clown. Watching as Stitches is laid to rest, Tom visited the cemetery to pay his respects with one of the clown’s squeakier toys but notices the crypt at the top of hill has some strange figures walking up to it, carrying an egg. Sneaking in behind the mourning clowns, Tom watches a ritual take place to bring the entertainer back to life. Waking in his own bed six years later, Tom still knows what he has witnessed and has been suffering for years.

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​Now in high school, Tom and his childhood friends have all gone their separate ways with the exception of Vinny who has stuck at his side after all these years. Tom’s mother has to take a business trip and recommends that Tom have one of his friends come over for his birthday, but when the old friends hear about this, they decide to throw him a real birthday party. With more kids than he can name at his home, Tom knows that this party will go down as a great one, but there is something in the back of his mind that is telling him that something is going to go wrong. As Stitches rises from the grave to join the party, the spell cast on him many years ago has given him power to finish his show from several years earlier.

Stitches follows the story of Tom as he is troubled from an accident that ended up killing a clown in his house six years prior. Not being able to get over this loss, Tom has to be reminded that not every party will end with someone dying at it. Wanting to spend his next birthday with just his friend Vinny, Tom puts it out there that he will have the house to himself, but that causes more of a problem than he could have foreseen. With all of his friends from his tenth birthday party showing up, Stitches the Clown is resurrected and ready to finish his show. Taking each kid in their own way, Stitches is still looking for laughs, but it is said that the second go around is never quite as funny. Tom and his friends have to find a way to stop the clown before they are all killed as well and the secret has to have something to do with what Tom witnessed so many years ago in the graveyard.

Balloons, ice cream, flying limbs… this movie has all the aspects for the perfect party and it will have to go down as another reason why I fear clowns. With so many wild and zany kills in this movie, there is no reason not to watch it as you will be blown away, literally. Yes, there is humor as well, and although the second joke is not as good as the first, you will still be laughing. They say that a clown must always finish his show, no matter what. I will admit that a couple have left my early birthday parties, early, because I was crying and now, I fear the repercussions. Stay Scared!

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