Nerds That Geek Movie Review: 'Orcs!'

Written by Scott Edwards

It can be difficult in life to find that one job that you always wanted. Most of the time, people need to find a way to work up the ladder and there is nothing wrong with that. As people start to move up, they may find that the job that they thought that they really wanted is not what they expected it to be and might take a step back into a spot that they really liked up to that point. It can be difficult to find that job that really suits you and while most people don’t want to move around too much, it is not a bad thing to take a different route to get to where you believe you should be going.
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After showing the sites of Balancing Rock State Park and breaking the bad news to the tourists that they no longer have a balancing rock to speak of, Park Ranger Cal Robertson takes some ‘me’ time and goes fishing. Getting a call from Marge that he has some things to catch up on since his fellow ranger has gone missing, Cal gets teamed up with Junior Ranger Hobart to get all of the work done. While responding to a call that some trash cans have been torn up, Cal finds that there are some stoner kids in the area and places the blame on them. But thinking outside the box, Hobart comes to a different conclusion that it might have been a bear, or something much worse, Bigfoot.

Thinking that it could have possibly been a bear, Cal takes some time to reflect on the current situation by partaking in the confiscated weed, but Marge will not let him take a moment off. Needing to catch up on the outhouse cleaning, Cal is shocked to find the missing ranger dead in the in the hole. Trying to investigate a little bit and seeing large scratch marks on the door, Cal and Hobart need to find whatever it was that frightened the ranger to his death before it attacks someone else. Getting a tranquilizer rifle and heading into the woods, the two stumble across a strange totem that neither has ever seen before.

As the sun goes down, the rangers are off the clock and Cal comes clean about why even though he does not like his job, he is sticking with it to move to a Hawaii park when all is said and done. Waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of drums, Cal tries to get the stoners to stop it, but little does he know what is really awaiting him and the patrons of the park. Finding the stoners campsite torn to shreds, the two rangers stumble across something that they did not expect, the head of one of the stoners. Being frightened, the two also see that there is a much more sinister force at work than just a bear; a band of Orcs that are looking to reclaim the park for themselves. Needing to get everyone out of the park becomes the top priority, but the battle for the park will be one for the history books…

Okay, well this was just a good little movie that made me laugh, cry and wonder where the nearest mine is to my house so I can avoid the Orcs. With two likeable characters in Cal and Hobart, you also get your female badass Katie who takes no prisoners. The battle between human and Orc is pretty fun and while I would have liked to have a little more orc blood being spilled, it did not take away from what was really happening on the screen. With epic mustaches, gun fire, orcs, arrows, tourists disappearing, a love story, a bitchy boss and a battle for the ages, this is just one of those movies that you can watch just to have a good time. While most mines may have not tunneled deep enough to affect the creatures from within, it is still a belief that when someone reaches that depth, they could unleash a threat that nobody believes is real. Stay Scared.

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