Nerds That Geek Movie Review: ‘Lumberjack Man’

Written by Scott Edwards

​Back in my day, there was something that all kids looked forward to and that was going to summer camp. While I am sure that I learned most of my colorful language there, since no parents were invited, that is pretty much what I remember most, but I also like to reflect on the fun I had with new friends that I usually only saw once a year. I however never thought about the camp counselors and what they were doing in the shadows of the camp. But I am all grown up now and I have seen plenty of horror movies about what really happens when the little ones are not around so I bet there was some funny stuff going on that would probably ruin my entire experience, but I would rather not think about that, and only focus on the good things.

On the bus to Good Friends Church Camp, all of the new counselors are ready to have the time of their lives, especially without any parents around to tell them what to do. But not everyone knows what happens behind closed doors at the camp as young horn dogs Jeff and Kellenberger are ready to get this rocks off with the new hottie Faith that has joined their group. Being new to the group, Faith knows what is happening in the real world and she sees how sheltered some of the other kids in the group have been, especially her new friend Jacqueline, who does not even know what a bag of grass is.

Getting their assignments when reaching the camp, the groups split up to work on their chores before the kids are scheduled to show up in the morning. While the pairings seem to be proper, everyone is looking for some way to get away from doing their job and find something more to their liking. But what the group does not know is that there is a killer in the woods that is looking for them to make any mistake so he can add them to his batter of terror. Awakening once every thirty years, the Lumberjack Man knows exactly what bad people do and by adding them to his menu, he will go to sleep once again with a full stomach and no buttery regrets.

Only one man knows the secret behind the Lumberjack Man, Dr. Peter Shirtcliff, who has a plan to stop the massive flapjack eating killer once and for all. Knowing that his killing spree will never end if he finishes his massive flapjacks soaked in the blood of his victims the good doctor tries to get the camp evacuated, but no one will listen to his warnings, until the bodies start piling up. With only one way to kill the pancake harvesting killer, Peter unleashes his secret weapon of normal maple syrup, but will anyone be willing to use it against the breakfast loving Lumberjack Man?

Don’t let the food references in this review fall by the wayside, this movie is about one of the things I love the most, pancakes! This is just a fun homage to all of the camp killer movies that you have no doubt seen and it brings a pancake loving killer back to life to feast once again. I love the storyline, especially when it all comes down to pancakes. All of the counselors are just great as they run amuck doing what their hearts desire, even in a bible camp. With plenty of sex, drugs, pancakes and blood, this is really just a joyride that you don’t want to get off of, especially when a flapjack is used to kill. Stay Scared!

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