Nerds That Geek Movie Review: ‘Jaws 3-D’

Written by John 'Left Shark' Betancourt

It often takes a disaster to remind humanity just how fragile we really are and how powerful nature truly can be. When we see a tornado level part of a city, or a hurricane rip apart all that man has built we are left with a new sense of humility. 

But our ability to control so much of the world makes those moments of terror fade into memories and we return to our role as masters of the planet, until such reminders arrive again. Sometimes those little nudges from mother nature may not be as severe as a natural disaster but by way of demonstrating how nature can sneak in anywhere, even where we believe we have complete control. It's that hint from nature that fuels Jaws 3-D.

It has been many years since the incidents at Amity Island and one of the sons of Martin Brody, Mike, has not let the terrors of the sea deter him from staying around ocean life as he enjoys his work as a marine biologist at Sea World. In fact, the shark at Amity Island is all but a distant memory until a baby great white is captured inside the park and its thirty-five-foot mother has followed her baby into the complex...to feed. Now the terror begins once again as Mike and the staff must figure out how to stop the shark and save as many lives as possible. 

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Released in 1982, Jaws 3-D earned its unique namesake courtesy of the grand 3-D craze that swept horror films in the early eighties and although the three dimensions of terror promised on the poster are no longer available, you can absolutely tell where the special effects were intended to thrill us and at the same time, that focus on effects reveals that this is the film where the franchise completely and utterly lost its way.  

The cerebral nature of terror and trauma evident in the first two films is nowhere to be found in this motion picture. No, instead the shark went from representing our worst internal fears and fear in general to serve as a slasher in the vein of Freddy or Jason because this go round the shark is smarter and methodical and bloodthirsty in ways that resemble man over beast. While Richard Matheson and Carl Gottleib's script gets props for the parallels of man versus nature and how nature always reminds us of its presence, the end result is just a high-octane splatter flick.  

But there is one particular scene in the film that will make you squirm, when the character known as Philip is eaten alive by the shark. We are treated to an inside view as the beast holds him in place beneath the depths of the water and well...chews without swallowing.  It's a pretty eerie moment and if anything, this film is worth watching for the awesome kills and the gore. You won't be wowed watching Jaws 3-D, but your bowl of popcorn will definitely be empty.  ​

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