Nerds That Geek Movie Review: ‘Jason X’

Written by Scott Edwards

​It is next to impossible to know what the future holds for anyone, including yourself. Knowing where you would like to be in five years is great, but in reality, that timeframe is long enough to find out what really matters. As long as you believe the facts and understand what it will take to get where you are going in your allotted time frame, you are head and shoulders above the rest. But don’t let that get you too carried away, because even the finest plans will come up against speed bumps that nobody can foresee.
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At the Crystal Lake facility, Rowan is finally ready to freeze the infamous Jason Voorhees with use of cryogenic technology when she gets an uninvited guest. Doctor Wimmer cannot allow this killing machine to be put away for any reason as Voorhees is a miracle of science. Ordering his men to remove Voorhees from the facility, the men are shocked to see one of their own has been shackled up in the middle of the room and Jason is on the loose once again. Being able to get the mass killer into a cryo-pod, Rowan gets the tip of his machete into her abdomen and not only becomes the next victim of Voorhees, but gets frozen with him as well.

After Professor Lowe and his class descend to the surface of old Earth, they stumble upon the cryogenics room and are shocked to find the massive man in such good shape after over four hundred and fifty years. Getting ready to transport the body back to their ship, they find Rowan under some cables in the same room and she shows signs of being able to be reanimated. Rushing back to the ship to get their finds taken care of, Rowan is given priority and with the technology of the twenty fifth century, everything goes off without a hitch. Being introduced to her new life on the ship, Rowan finds out that Jason has been brought along for the ride. Knowing that nothing good can come from this, she warns Lowe, but he has other matters on his mind.

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​Placing a call to his old finance man Dieter, Lowe tries to sell the idea that people will pay big money to see Rowan who is the oldest person to be reanimated, but the idea is not sticking since the technology is so out of date now, but the mention of Voorhees piques some interest. Telling Lowe what he knows about the Crystal Lake killer, the Professor’s eyes start to light up with money signs. Hearing that he can get a payday out of this find, he is beyond ready to collect while leaving his students in the poor house. Trying to get ahold of Adrienne who is checking out the frozen body turns out to be a problem however as too much time has passed and Jason Voorhees is back on the hunt once again.
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Defrosting while Adrienne is pulling out his eye balls and cutting the mask off of his face, Jason is back and will kill anyone that dares step in front of him. After dispatching the med student, Jason moves down the unfamiliar halls of the spaceship and smells sex in the air. Opening the door to ecstasy town and killing off another student, the ship is put on lock down with the marines aboard doing what they are trained to do. But none of them has ever faced an un-killable machine-like Jason who is able to take them out one by one. Moving throughout the ship and trying to take care of business the only way he knows how, Jason finds out that there might be one thing that can stop him as technology has changed plenty as the years have shot by. But things can go the other way as well, as everyone discovers when the killer falls on a medical bed that not only heals his ailing and aged body, but upgrades him in terrifying fashion… 

Talk about the end of a franchise; putting the Voorhees in space to basically destroy a space ship from within by killing everyone onboard. Not even the cold void of space is able to kill Jason in this movie as you see him floating around outside of the ship a couple of times during the movie. While some people did not like this one, I found myself enjoying it, even though there were no aliens trying to take on the killing machine. For the most part, the group dynamic did not change much from the earlier movies, you have sex and you die, you don’t, and you might have a chance as long as you can get away. The technology shown in the future was what really got me going in this movie, the Nano bots and Big Freaking Guns, along with a holodeck to try and buy more time for escaping were just a joy to see in action. With a machete, a hockey mask, unknowing students, an un-expecting professor, the promise of money, frozen bodies, blood and a trip back to Crystal Lake, this is just a fun movie to look back on. I would hope that there would be some sort of safety measures in the future when it comes to collecting frozen bodies, because as this movie does show, you don’t want to allow them all to come back to life. Stay Scared.

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