Nerds That Geek Movie Review: ‘Creepshow 3’

Written by John Edward Betancourt 

There is unfortunately, a dark side to the geeky things we love; the cash grab. We all know that the franchises we celebrate in our heart are a business, and when they bring us top notch stories we are more than happy to hand over our hard earned money to keep it going with the knowledge that those who cash the check will undoubtedly feed our hunger and do it with class. 

But there are those out there who simply see the dollar signs, and when opportunity falls in their lap to get their hands on a well-known franchise that has spent a few years languishing in oblivion and make money on the name alone, the end result is often times a complete and utter disaster. Such was the case with today's movie review; Creepshow 3.

So let's get right down to it. This movie is awful. Five more tales of ‘terror’ are presented to us and well, they're not scary, they're not funny, they're not good. As I stated before, this was nothing more than an opportunity to get paid. There is no Romero or King involvement here, their rights to the first two films remained in the hands of the production company and they were sold off to the highest bidder. That means there is no passion to be found here, no love of E.C. Comics as we saw in the last two films. 

This is merely an hour and forty minutes of stuff that happens, with some blood mixed in, a vampire, and a rip off of 'The Hitchhiker' from Creepshow 2. Just to give you perspective about how bad this film is, know that the rip off tale is entitled 'The Haunted Dog', and no, it is not about an evil pooch from beyond, it's about a bad hot dog. That's right a jerk of a doctor gives a homeless man a tainted hot dog that kills him. Now the doctor is haunted by the homeless man who consistently spouts the line 'Thanks for the good dog' to 'torment' the doctor. Yup, I actually had to type all of that, and it is just as stupid on screen as it is in this article.  

So why spotlight this film? Simple, so that you don't have to watch this utter piece of garbage. Yes, I took one for the team and sat through this whole mess so that you don't have to. It’s really that bad, and I implore you to not see this movie or support it in the slightest. Because the people who made this abomination don’t deserve our time or a single dime of our hard-earned money. However, while this did indeed put a stain on the franchise’s wonderful standing, something magnificent did come out of this mess. Because Greg Nicotero and Shudder were able to snag the rights to the saga, and tomorrow will see the beginning of a new era for the franchise when Creepshow premieres on Shudder, and I have high hopes that this new entry in the series, will restore it to its former glory.

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