Nerds That Geek B Movie Review: 'The Return of Swamp Thing'

Written by John Edward Betancourt

Whether or not we like to admit it, we all have a love affair with sequels, despite the risk they pose. On one hand, we love knowing that an incredible story is going to continue and reunite us with our favorite characters and we love the notion that a new director is going to take the story to fresh and exciting places. On the other hand however, we know there's a darn good chance the next entry in the series could turn out to  be an absolute disaster. 

Yet, even when they do fail or disappoint, we still find the positive in them. Be it a character, or a moment, something about that sequel reaches us on a personal level. But once in a great while, there are sequels that come along that actually manage to ruin everything for lack of a better phrase. These are the ones that make us cringe because they took everything we loved about the original and flushed it down the drain. Heck, sometimes they are so bad...the next entry in the franchise actually retcons the story to restore our faith in the series and one such sequel that more or less screwed everything up for its respective universe is 1989's 'The Return of Swamp Thing.'

Now one would think that after Wes Craven's stunningly good entry, the next person to handle the franchise would be hard pressed to screw it up, but man...this is a bad, bad movie. Believe me, I try and keep it positive where I can, but it's hard to find anything good about this particular entry in the series, in fact it was so bad...no one has bothered to make a Swamp Thing movie since. So what made this movie so rough? Well I'm glad you asked. For starters this film seems confused about whether or not it wants to be a remake or a sequel. Case in point, our villain; Anton Arcane. Yes, the bad guy from the first film, who...died, is resurrected here and rather than seek out revenge upon Swamp Thing or perhaps plot to pick up where he left off...the character changes completely. Now he's a mad scientist, trying his best to prevent aging through gene splicing.

It's a weird change to give us to say the least because if you're going to provide us with a villain that has a different agenda and plan for a second movie...perhaps give us someone different altogether? Heck, they even recast Louis Jourdan to reprise the role and man...you can tell he's not happy to be there. He phones in his performance and mugs for the camera and the magic of his character is just nonexistent here. Yet the madness doesn't end there. The film also decided it was time to go into campy territory, filling up scenes with one liners and wisecracks that just aren't funny as it tries to transform itself into an homage of classic monster movies by delivering one genetically spliced 'nightmare' after another. But alas, the effects used to create these beings reflect the movie's low budget and look rubbery and fake and well...by the time the third act rolls around, you're ready for this mess to end.

It's a shame too, because there was potential here. With a different villain and less camp, this movie could have held quite the flame to the original, but director Jim Wynorski and his lighthearted B movie resume was not the right fit for a character that was established as a brooding and tortured entity, but I don't place the blame upon him for this mess...that falls to the sloppy and confused script that was so goofy at times, the tie in novel written by Peter David found the story reworked in places by the author for the better. But, we have to remember that The Return of Swamp Thing came from a different era in filmmaking, where the chance to make a quick buck took priority over creative integrity and perhaps if there is any good to find in this film is that it can serve as a lesson for future producers looking to take over a property to not treat their audience as though they are buffoons and to at least make a little effort with the source material and give it the respect it is due...otherwise...this is what you'll get.

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