Everybody should have a hobby these days, something to take their minds off of real life, if only for a couple of minutes. I know tons of people that love to ski, do needle point and chance the rapids in a rubber boat. All good things, I myself like to watch and review movies, not because it is something that I have to do, but I rather enjoy it and it gets my mind off of things. Everyone has their own vices and I hope that none of them lead to any self-harm, as a hobby is supposed to be fun and relaxing, not treacherous and harmful. 

The world of underground dueling is a small community, but everyone that thinks that they are fast enough at pulling their pistol thinks that they have a shot. John has become one of the better quick draw artists and has yet to lose a match. The rules are simple when it comes to modern day dueling, you draw and shoot your opponent in the chest (where their bullet proof vest is) and keep them from getting back in their position for five seconds. If you miss the mark, like several shooters have, you are thrown out of the competition and forfeit your wager. It's a simple living, but when you want to prove that you are the best of the best, there is one man you have to go through and John is looking for an invite.

After his latest match, John is approached by Colt who is a fighter in her own right. Looking for Red Doan, Colt figures that John might actually have a lead on the man. But John has his mind on other things as he sees Zorringer’s spotter at the fight and wants to know why she is not keeping an eye on him yet. As Colt finds out that John is preoccupied with being known as one of the best, she offers to help him, but he will have to give her gas money for the journey. Heading down to South America to try and locate Red Doan who seems to be on the run from Colt, the two run into a little problem on the road, the Polícia. Seeing all of the goods of a gun fighter, the Policia wants to see how good John is against a regular convict.  Wounding the cops and the convict, the two are back on the road and ready to fulfill their own destinies.

John has always thought of himself as the best in his craft and only Zorringer will be able to prove him wrong, but Colt is looking for Red Doan for another reason. Since her brother was killed by the fighter, she believes that killing him will make the hurt go away, but little does she know that her quest for revenge is just beginning. When locating a local dueler’s hangout, the two shack up and wait for Zorringer to make his move towards John, but when a shootout occurs in the hotel, Colt sees that the rules do not apply any more. Wanting to leave, Colt heads back North while John is able to locate one of the hotter dueling locations. Not being able to get decent odds on a fight, John is forced to take on a mountain of man that has never lost since nobody can keep him out of his assigned zone. Being able to dislodge the mountain, John now has made a name for himself, but with a broken body, it may not have been worth it.  Wanting to get back into shape, John is joined once again by Colt and the two rehab the young man and get him ready for the fight of a lifetime.

If I did not see this movie, I would not know that dueling is still a thing. These days a duel is not designed to kill anyone, but to keep them from firing back. Even though there are protective measures in place, the shots that these people take can lead to fatal wounds, but most of them are too proud to admit it. I must admit, I liked both John’s and Colt’s back stories when they came into the equation. Both are looking to prove something to themselves and have the means to do so. While on the ride, the two go through all of the standard fights you have in a relationship, but when Colt wants to get intimate with John and forces him to take a shot at her, (yes, Colt is a woman), she leaves in a huff that he would not do it. It was a good breakdown of the character, as she wanted more from him than he was willing to give, but she did not know what she wanted yet. Not a bad movie and I really liked the gun fights, especially when there were multiple hits, it really looked painful.  

There is so much content on the internet these days, it is hard to keep up with it all, but one thing that has been starting to make an appearance is the Dark Web. This is the place where you are able to make all of the illegal deals that your heart desires. I think that hackers know how to get to this place, but it is something that I would be afraid to even attempt to get to since everything on it leads to one thing; being arrested. With so many people using the dark web to attain all kinds of goods, it is easy to see why it has become so popular, but if you are like me, I will let it pass for now, since what is offers is something that you do not want.

Being abducted from her home with her brother, Ilona is taken to a holding facility and finds herself completely confused as to what is going on. When Anna and her boyfriend Bogdan come in with a new set of clothes for her to wear and she is paraded around in front of a group of hunters, she is starting to get the picture. As Anna releases her into the woods, Ilona is given a list of rules to keep her from failing, but the most important rule is that she must participate in the hunt, or her brother will be killed.  Running as fast as she can, Ilona tries to find a way to escape what is coming her way, but little does she know what that entails. 

As three sets of hunting of hunting teams are unleashed and trying to track down the young woman first, they are all given the same rule, there is no killing of Ilona outside of the sacrificial clearing. Everything else is a go and Bogdan is looking to make the best snuff film of his time on the dark web to date. As the groups head out into the woods, they have the advantage of knowing where the young girl is thanks to the command center and all of the cameras they have set up for the hunt. As Ilona makes her way through the woods, she trips and bangs her head causing a huge disappointment on Bogdan’s part, but he does not know what is going to happen next in his movie. 

When Timur and his girl show up at Ilona’s location, they think that the game is over, but Timur does the unthinkable and kills his girl instead. Promising to keep Ilona safe, the two make their way through the forest, but the other groups of hunters are hot on their trail. Having to fight off the other groups that are looking to claim their prize for the kill, Timur proves his worth, but when he gets hit in the leg with an arrow, Ilona is on her own. Trying to find a way to escape the madness that she has been thrown into and get her brother out of his holding cell, Ilona needs to be stronger than she has ever been. But with groups of hunters trying to kill her for the grand prize, it may be easier than it actually looks.

Something about hunting people seems to excite the masses, yet I do not get the appeal yet. I am not a hunter and the thrill of the chase seems to be just exhausting to me, but hey that is only me. With this movie being dubbed over, I think there are some parts that have been lost in the translation, but I am still unsure about the grand prize for killing the pretty girl. Besides that, I enjoyed this movie, it was great seeing Ilona work her heart out to get back to her brother with all of the obstacles being put in her way. I also liked Anna’s role in the whole thing since she seemed to have other things on her mind outside of the hunt. I liked the storyline, it was solid and the revenge you get at the end is just the way it should have been.  With some fun characters, it might not be a deep thinker movie, but there is plenty of action and blood to keep you entertained.  

The old saying goes that the more you Xerox something, the less of the original you actually get to see. Enter The Magnificent Seven, a film by Antoine Fuqua that is a remake of a western, based upon the very influential Japanese film, Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai. The moment this concept was announced it was already panned, because, really who needs it?

Still, I have to admire Fuqua for, at least, trying to put his best foot forward with the proposition: teaming up, once again, with his Training Day leading man, Denzel Washington, placing him in a starring role, and re-working the film to reflect our modern day sensibilities, instead of leaving the original’s themes of xenophobic Mexican villages and Indian burial in the 1960s. You know, from that Oscar-winning film, that this is a director that can candle concepts like loss, fear, and the dark and torturous innards faced by moral ambiguities. The real downside to knowing that however is that you’ll then watch this film, and realize those were the very themes that were left on the cutting room floor.

Long gone are the concepts of lawlessness and the struggle to survive in an unforgiving frontier in our modern cinema. The conflict in this version of the film begins when a mercilessly wealthy minor baron named Bartholomew Bogue (Peter Sarsgaard) intends to mow down a small western village so he can sit on the gold mining rights. Within the first ten minutes of the opening act, he’s burned the city’s symbol of faith, the church at the head of town square, to the ground, and killed an abundance of townspeople, including the husband of Emma Cullen (Haley Bennett). Emma flees to another town where she finds a warrant officer, Sam Chisolm (Washington), and pays her last dime to convince him to bring Bogue to justice.

Enter the remainder of the title cast: Chris Pratt is Josh Faraday, a stereotypical western drifter and gambler, who makes good use of playing card metaphors. Ethan Hawke is Goodnight Robichet, a former Union soldier who has a deadeye and a deep fear of the standing conflict, and his associate Byung hun-Lee, an Asian gunslinger that predictably also has throwing knives and martial arts as part of his repertoire. Vincent D’Onofrio is Jack Horne, a bear-sized woodsman who used to hunt for scalps for the government, puts in, surprisingly, the most memorable character role by acting like an imbecile but quoting full biblical epithets while he’s slaying rows of outlaws. Manuel Garcia-Rulfo as Vasquez, an outlaw blackmailed to join the party, and Martin Sensmeier as Red Harvest, a Comanche living in self-imposed exile. 

Overall, the narrative is progressive in a way that accepts the diversity of its cast without being overt about what ethnicity is in what role, and does so without resorting to the standard western film stereotypes. Pratt’s Faraday loves to mock Manuel’s Vasquez just for being a Mexican, until they bond and Vasquez reduces Faraday to a single Spanish swear-word. Predictably, when Hawk’s Robichet becomes too scared to continue the fight, Emma Cullen volunteers to take his shotgun. There’s also a rather clunky moment in the second act where the so far self-involved Bogue has a Comanche guide named Denali (Johnathon Joss), who Red Harvest immediately declares to be dishonorable. Then they fight. There is never a reason to question why this entire western party is being led by Denzel Washington either, and I’d expected the entire film to overlook the racist elephant in the room, until a reveal in the third act shows they had said concept in the back of their minds the entire time.
​
The structure of this film is actually pretty sound, and it works its way across all three acts admirably except in one category: character motivation. So many instances through the film, you’ll hear the characters mumble. Often western actors speak under their breath, but it is done here so many times to such a ridiculous degree, it almost seems like they didn’t even want to write the dialogue. It’s a strange choice, especially since the previous versions of this film were all about the backstory. I failed to understand Chris Pratt’s reason for being in this army, if it was in the movie at all. Then there’s the fact the premise of Kurosawa’s work was not truly about good or evil, but about the lengths men strive to in order to survive. The presence of Bogue as a completely committed supervillain completely wrecks that prospect, and even though they try to rectify it with Chisolm’s reveal in the third act, it fails to shock, both because it becomes too late, and once again, because the dialogue is being whispered by the actors.

The Magnificent Seven doesn’t pull any punches in regards to the thing that it is. Unfortunately, it is a pretty unnecessary remake. In the end, it at least has the guts to be an unnecessary remake, as opposed to a poorly sewn-together one, like Man of Steel, or an accepted, though pretty poorly conceived remake, like Star Trek Into Darkness. It’s a shame to think, though, that a classic and time-honored concept like Kurosawa’s magnificent original had so much more to say and so much more influence to bring to the overall cinematic landscape, than a far later film that is directly inspired by it. 

Getting assigned to a new job is never easy, but if you are able to adapt to it, the better off you are. No matter the position, you should be assigned to it based on your skill set and even though you may not be happy about it, it happened for the greater good. Even if it seems like a step back, you might find yourself enjoying the new position even more than your previous one. Keeping your eyes open for the next change, you should always invite it as becoming complacent is never good when you are looking to climb the ladder to success.

Being moved to Los Angeles, Dr. Lauren Chase is being hit with her first assignment. After an infection has ravaged the world, she is now in charge of bringing survivors back to the base and being directed on how to proceed by Dr. Greer, she will have her work cut out for her. Being present for the fall of New York, she has an insight of what the infection can do to the people, but Lauren has an alternate plan in mind when hitting the road. With her team in place, she will need to keep her head up and earn her keep, or else she may find herself being left on the side of the road, never to return. 

As Wheeler pulls out of the compound, Lauren sees how the world has changed as the infected try to disable the bus. Not being able to defend herself, she relies on Gunner to take care of the threat, but he is not a babysitter and cannot take care of everyone on their mission. When Wheeler deviates from the direct route to find the survivors that they heard about, Lauren starts to understand how grave the situation really is. When finding a survivor in the middle of the street, Lauren does not know how to assemble the testing device and the rest of the team is starting to question who she really is.

Only a block away from their destination, another bus is spotted and Gunner needs to check it out to see if his wife is still aboard it. Seeing her lifeless body in the back, Gunner has found out that there is something else about the infection that has not been passed on to anybody, the infected are starting to eat people. After arriving at St. Mary’s, the group finds that the survivors are all dead, but are able to connect with the previous doctor that was on site and get a new destination. But Lauren is still on the hunt for her family and after being able to connect with her daughter, she knows that there is a way to make it all work out for her best interest. Not being who she says she is, Lauren comes clean to Wheeler about the only reason she is on the road with the diminishing team and will stop at nothing to get her family back to safety, but with so many infected in her path, it may be easier said than done.

A pretty good look at what might actually be done if an infection over takes the world. Only wanting survivors, they will be monitored for a long while to make sure that they do not have any signs of the virus, and if they do, they will be tested on and eventually killed. As no one on the bus wants to go through with the mission at hand, Gunner takes the leader role and forces them to go through with it. While learning more about the characters, you get to see that they each have their motives for leaving the compound. I liked the group dynamic in this movie, it shows that teamwork is essential to staying alive in the situation, but you cannot achieve this if no one is telling the truth. Action, betrayal, blood and yes, infected, this is  not a bad movie to check out if you want a small taste of almost zombie culture.

Whether or not we like to admit it, we all have a love affair with sequels, despite the risk they pose. On one hand, we love knowing that an incredible story is going to continue and reunite us with our favorite characters and we love the notion that a new director is going to take the story to fresh and exciting places. On the other hand however, we know there's a darn good chance the next entry in the series could turn out to  be an absolute disaster. 

Yet, even when they do fail or disappoint, we still find the positive in them. Be it a character, or a moment, something about that sequel reaches us on a personal level. But once in a great while, there are sequels that come along that actually manage to ruin everything for lack of a better phrase. These are the ones that make us cringe because they took everything we loved about the original and flushed it down the drain. Heck, sometimes they are so bad...the next entry in the franchise actually retcons the story to restore our faith in the series and one such sequel that more or less screwed everything up for its respective universe is 1989's 'The Return of Swamp Thing.'

Now one would think that after Wes Craven's stunningly good entry, the next person to handle the franchise would be hard pressed to screw it up, but man...this is a bad, bad movie. Believe me, I try and keep it positive where I can, but it's hard to find anything good about this particular entry in the series, in fact it was so bad...no one has bothered to make a Swamp Thing movie since. So what made this movie so rough? Well I'm glad you asked. For starters this film seems confused about whether or not it wants to be a remake or a sequel. Case in point, our villain; Anton Arcane. Yes, the bad guy from the first film, who...died, is resurrected here and rather than seek out revenge upon Swamp Thing or perhaps plot to pick up where he left off...the character changes completely. Now he's a mad scientist, trying his best to prevent aging through gene splicing.

It's a weird change to give us to say the least because if you're going to provide us with a villain that has a different agenda and plan for a second movie...perhaps give us someone different altogether? Heck, they even recast Louis Jourdan to reprise the role and man...you can tell he's not happy to be there. He phones in his performance and mugs for the camera and the magic of his character is just nonexistent here. Yet the madness doesn't end there. The film also decided it was time to go into campy territory, filling up scenes with one liners and wisecracks that just aren't funny as it tries to transform itself into an homage of classic monster movies by delivering one genetically spliced 'nightmare' after another. But alas, the effects used to create these beings reflect the movie's low budget and look rubbery and fake and well...by the time the third act rolls around, you're ready for this mess to end.

It's a shame too, because there was potential here. With a different villain and less camp, this movie could have held quite the flame to the original, but director Jim Wynorski and his lighthearted B movie resume was not the right fit for a character that was established as a brooding and tortured entity, but I don't place the blame upon him for this mess...that falls to the sloppy and confused script that was so goofy at times, the tie in novel written by Peter David found the story reworked in places by the author for the better. But, we have to remember that The Return of Swamp Thing came from a different era in filmmaking, where the chance to make a quick buck took priority over creative integrity and perhaps if there is any good to find in this film is that it can serve as a lesson for future producers looking to take over a property to not treat their audience as though they are buffoons and to at least make a little effort with the source material and give it the respect it is due...otherwise...this is what you'll get.

Comic book adaptations that came out well before the current era we are all enjoying are often considered to be hit or miss ventures. We only remember the ones that  pleased audiences and are forever engrained in our minds as outright classics, such as the original Superman movie, or we recall the ones that ended up being a complete and utter disaster and are best remembered as a recommendation to our friends to avoid or enjoy ironically, like say the 1989 iteration of The Punisher.

But there other films on the market that mattered and in many ways, comic films that did an okay job of adapting their respective story have been forgotten over time, overshadowed by the good and the bad, despite the fact that they might have had elements that were actually impressive or a story that engaged and entertained. These were the movies that often times did not feature a big time and big name comic book character, and one such film in this vein recently came up in conversation, in a good way, forcing me to revisit it...1982's Swamp Thing.

Now the plot for this one was actually pretty simple. In this story we were introduced to Alec Holland, a scientist working on a project that could revolutionize the world; creating a plant/animal hybrid that can survive and thrive in just about any condition on the planet. What it could do for food alone would nearly solve the world's hunger problem, but the secret is out on his project and it leads to Holland finding himself under attack from a group led by Dr. Anton Arcane, who wants the formula for his own nefarious purposes. During the attack however, Holland is covered by his own creation and transformed into Swamp Thing, a powerful and strong being that will use its newfound strength to wrest Holland's discovery from Arcane's hands and save the love of his life in the process.

Perhaps the biggest surprise when one watches this film, is the fact that it is written and directed by horror mastermind Wes Craven and well, while one might think that Wes is out of his element, he's not. A good storyteller knows how to tell a story and his venture into the world of Swamp Thing is actually an intriguing one to say the least. For starters, that story works well, there are stakes involved and a reason for our hero to make things right in the world and quite frankly...the movie is absolutely gorgeous to look at. Craven certainly took some creative liberties to make the swamp look other-wordly and at times the movie feels as though you're watching a dream.

Yet while it seems as though I'm letting you know that this is the least Wes Craven movie ever made by Wes Craven, have no fear, there is horror here. The third act delves into the dark places we've come to expect from Wes, filled with monsters and genuinely creepy moments that only a master of horror can pull off. But in the end, this movie is more or less a special gem, one that showcases all of Craven's talents as a director and it's a fun little story about a mostly obscure DC Comics character, and surprisingly enough, this is a character that isn't currently facing a remake or reboot, meaning that one can find this film on Blu Ray or DVD and enjoy a film from a comic book era where millions of dollars weren't available to create their world, meaning that creativity...was king.

Times have certainly changed since I was kid, I can most definitely see that now. Back in my day, if I wanted to get home from school, I would walk home. If I wanted to go play in the park with my friends, be back for dinner. Those days seem to have gone away with all of the fear that surrounds child abduction, and for good reason. With so many sickos out there lying in wait for a child to be on their own, I cannot imagine what I was thinking when I was a kid. I was just told never to talk to strangers and yell if a strange person every approached me.

Being a single parent and a full time in-home nurse, Sarah Harris has her hands full all of the time. Without enough hours in the day, Sarah calls her mother for help when it comes to picking up her daughter Lauren from school. Lauren means the world to Sarah and she does not want anything bad to happen to her baby. Even when Sarah is not able to take a break from work, she brings Lauren with her to the occasional house call, but there is something strange about her new patient.

Visiting Gerald, the new patient with her daughter, Sarah gets a strange vibe off of the old man and does not want her daughter around him. Not thinking that there is anything wrong, just a feeling, Sarah goes on with her normal life and when it is her day to pick Lauren up from school, she gets caught up in a medical emergency. Lauren thinks that it would be okay to walk home on her own and sneaks out of the school yard, only to be picked up by a stranger. Not knowing where her daughter is, Sarah reacts like any parent would when their child goes missing, but when she gets a phone call from the kidnapper, she is instructed to do something completely out of the ordinary. 

Getting some supplies from her doctor’s office, Sarah arrives at Gerald’s home and ties him up. Not knowing the reason why, Sarah needs to find answers before something bad happens to her daughter. When her mother finds out what is going on, she joins in on the hostage situation and when the women find out who Gerald really is, they know that he has something to do with the missing girl. As phone calls are exchanged with the kidnapper, more directions are given, but when being told to kill the man in her possession, Sarah cannot go through with it and hatches a plan to find her daughter with Gerald. Now a pedophile and a worried mother are on the hunt for a little girl, and while nothing should stop them, there is an unknown threat to Lauren that nobody was willing to see. 

A very disturbing look at how far someone would go to get some sort of revenge. Not knowing the motive behind the kidnapping, Sarah is thrown into the mix of something that she may never understand and needs to trust a man that used to be a menace to society, and well that shows how far she would go to protect her daughter. Most of the time I do not like to see the criminals in movies like this being portrayed as human, as they are supposed to be monsters, but it works in Two Wrongs, and although you know what they have done is wrong, you develop feelings for them as well. A decent movie that gives a couple twists and has a strong moral center, and you may think twice about who you do business with as their enemies may be looking for revenge and don’t care who gets thrown into the mix.

​Sometimes I get bored and right now is one of those times, so why not do something different that can get my mind moving again. I have never hidden my love for movies and with a lot of the reviews that I do on the B movies, I wonder what could have been done to make them better. You don’t tend to wonder what would have made a funded movie better, people just love to hammer the writer or director when a movie flops, but in reality, it comes down to the cast and the performance that they leave on the screen. With that being said, I started to wonder what would make Star Wars: Episode IV even better if I had a cast of thousands to choose from and this is what I came up with.

​Obi-Wan Kenobi – Alec Guinness was a great find for this part, but this is the first person I thought of when coming up with this idea and it was the easiest decision I ever made with Sir Sean Connery. I just think that in his later years, the former James Bond star would be the perfect fit for this character, and even would have made many little quips to Luke about how to use the force and be a man, that, of course Luke would ignore since Obi-Wan is not his father. With a distinct voice the people love to listen to, there would be so many people quoting Obi-Wan rather than Han and Chewie's interactions.

Han Solo – Talk about one of the hardest people to have to replace in a movie, and although there might not be anyone better than Harrison Ford in the role, I really like Idris Elba. I loved his role in Prometheus and that is what puts him on the top of my list for so many movie roles. With so much swank and swagger, Idris is fun to watch and I am sure that nobody would be able to take their eyes off of him. My first thought about this pick was to put him as Vader, but you cannot hide his face from the screen, but maybe Vader could have a clear mask so they wouldn’t have to cover anyone up. But that is neither here nor there, it would be just flat out fun to see him take over the Millennium Falcon and complain about parsecs.

​Princess Leia – The seriousness and fun that was brought to the screen by Carrie Fisher made us laugh and cry over the years and there are very few actresses that can pull this off all around, but I am always very high on Jessica Chastain. Still one of my favorite actresses of the past couple of years, I am sure that she would be able to put her hair in the side buns and shoot a blaster and never miss. One of the things that I like about her performances that I have seen is that she is never being held back by anyone, and I'm not sure anyone could hold her back from the good fight as it is. Taking control of every room that she walks into, I would guarantee that a quick love affair with her brother would not keep her down for too long.

Darth Vader – Now this one gets a little more difficult since you have two actors that are Vader, David Prowse as the body and James Earl Jones as the voice.  I would need someone that is at least six inches taller than everyone else in the movie and I think Robert Maillet would fit this role perfectly for the body. As a former wrestler, he has the moves that Vader would have to use in battle. I am not sure about his sword play, but I am sure that he could figure it out. As for the voice, I like a good British baddy like Mark Strong to take the role. With a distinctive voice that can strike fear into everyone’s heart, he would be the perfect fit to making sure that the relentless Vader is much more hated than loved in the universe.  

Luke Skywalker – This choice has to be the hardest one for me to make as I need to find someone that is youthful like Mark Hamill was when he first took on the role and has a pretty solid presence on the screen. My first thought was a young Tobey Maguire since he was okay in the Spiderman movies, and while I still like him, I think I would rather go with a young James Franco instead.  I need an actor that can use his full array of emotions for the role, especially when Luke eventually finds out who his father really is, yet can still have a little bit of fun when it comes to rescuing the princess from the Empire. Like I said, this was quite the difficult choice and after seeing some more of his work, even in comedies, I get the feeling that there is much more that James is capable of and when given the chance, can put a movie on this back and run with it.
​
I will leave it at that, since the other main stars of this movie are all in costume and I do not know enough names of people that make a living doing that. It is fun to think about how movies would have been different if there were different people in the roles, especially if they did a really good job in taking on some larger-than-life characters. I know there are so many good actors out there that you probably can think of some people who could do the roles better and feel free to let me know about them, since I am basing these decisions on a 30-50-20 spit of Action, Drama and Comedy. Until next time, may the force be with you.