Nerds That Geek Movie Review – ‘Mannequin: On the Move’

Written by John Edward Betancourt 

The late 1980s and early 1990s were quite the wild time for film franchises. Because if a particular motion picture performed decently at the box office and/or had any measure of positive critical reception, it was ripe for becoming a franchise, the kind that could potentially spawn a boatload of sequels. So, with dollar signs in their eyes, producers greenlit sequel after sequel during this era, and the box office and home video markets were flooded with follow-ups that hoped to capture the spirit of the original film and well… this particular push to make money and keep audiences happy, ended with mixed results.
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Because while the idea was noble and while sequels are always a popular thing, the quality of these follow ups left a lot to be desired. For some of these sequels went direct to video and their lack of budgets led to some seriously laughable production values. Or an attempt to rush them to market quickly, led to follow ups that didn’t have a fully thought out story or any returning cast members since scheduling conflicts came into play. But perhaps the weirdest part of this particular era in cinematic history, was the sheer fact that sometimes we would get a sequel that didn’t need to be made. Because the prior story wrapped everything up in neat and lovely fashion and recently, I took the time to revisit a sequel that features all of the cinematic sins we just discussed, and more, in Mannequin: On the Move.

So, the funny thing about this film, is that we really don’t need to take the time to discuss that much of the plot; because it is almost identical to its predecessor. After all, this movie features a young man working at Prince and Company as a window dresser and he just so happens to encounter a mannequin that can come to life and they fall madly in love and have to fight to keep their relationship going. In fact, the only real changes to this plot, revolve around how the mannequin (named Jessie) can now come to life the instant her cursed necklace is removed. Along with how she’s being lusted after by a far older and grosser man named Count Spretzle, who firmly believes he is destined to marry her because of some old-time legend from their homeland of Hauptmann-Koenig. Otherwise, that’s it, that’s the ‘plot’ and well, that’s the bare beginning when it comes to this movie’s problems. 

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Because this is a rough motion picture when all is said and done, one filled with over the top and silly and oddly creepy moments, and speaking of that, let’s take a moment and talk about Count Spretzle. For he is the heavy in this tale and well, it’s a little strange and uncomfortable that his evil plot involves getting with a one-thousand-year-old peasant girl. No joke, that’s it. His entire motivation in this film is getting laid and that’s just ridiculous and it doesn’t allow for our lead characters to grow in the slightest since they are constantly going the extra mile to keep this greasy guy away from the woman he so ‘loves’. And I suppose this awkward plot thread is really the finest representation of what’s truly wrong with this motion picture.
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For in essence, this movie is missing all the charm of its predecessor. The characters are one dimensional and you don’t relate to them in the slightest, and there’s nothing compelling about the plot either, since it’s the same plot from the last movie, with a heavy dose of what we just discussed and a whole lot of stereotypes tossed in for good measure as well. Yet, what’s truly incredible about this movie, is that it somehow manages to suck you in. Because it is so off kilter and so awkward, that you are instantly curious to see what crazy plot point and/or moment is going to come next and that is a marvel in its own right since this is the kind of story that most of us will turn off once the strange stuff starts. If anything, all of this begs an important question when all is said and done, in that, is this flick worth your while?

The answer surprisingly, is yes. Because this one is just so bad that it is good. Okay maybe good is too strong of a word, and a better comparison is that this movie is akin to a train wreck. The kind you slow down on the side of the road to see. Because so little in this film works and watching this kind of chaos unfold is just fascinating to say the least. Plus, in its own weird way, this movie serves as an interesting history lesson. For it truly harkens back to how women were viewed as objects back in that era since that’s really all that Jessie is. Since men decide her fate and the winner is the one who gets her, and it’s quite wild to revisit a movie that wouldn’t fly in this day and age and also know that once upon a time, they really made them this badly. 

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