Girls of Geek Movie Review: A Million Ways to Die in the West

Written by Scotty

THIS IS THE EMERGENCY SPOILER ALERT SYSTEM...YOU ARE ADVISED TO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...

I do have a soft spot for westerns as my parents were both huge fans of John Wayne and made me watch his movies with them at least once a week.  As I got older however, I found that I preferred comedies to anything else and to appease the folks, I turned to my western classics City Slickers and Blazing Saddles.  Although my tastes have changed over the years, these movies have kept me laughing and every once in a while I get the hope that another western comedy will hit the screen. 

A Million Ways to Die in the West is just that movie to take you back to how our comedy classics were made with a completely different focus.  As everyone should know, the west was not a safe place to live back in the late 1800’s as settlers migrated.  With so many things against them, it is amazing that anyone ever survived.  That is the focus of this movie and for the most part, it was explained very well, even if it did not make sense. 

Poor Albert is a sheep farmer and not a very good one at that.  The only thing he has going for him in his awful life in the west is his love Louise.  But nothing lasts forever and when Albert talks his way out of a duel, Louise decides that he is not the man she wants to live with for the rest of her life and dumps him.  Not knowing how to handle his recent rejection, Albert turns to his best friend for support, Edward who is in a great relationship with the town whore Rose. 

Drinking and letting loose why the west is the worst place to live, Albert cannot figure out why Louise has given up on him and decides to confront her when finding out she is now dating the mustached wonder, Foy.  Foy will give Louise everything she has ever wanted and with his money and mustache, he has no fear of her ever going back to her past love.  Albert tries to change, but is so afraid of everything around him that something massive will have to happen in his life before he will ever truly change his ways.

Riding into town, Anna is waiting for her gunslinger husband to arrive after his latest robbery to cool down.  Not knowing anyone, she is taken back by Albert as he saved her from a brawl in the saloon and offers her services to help get Louise back.  Not knowing what to expect from the relationship, Albert tries to follow everything that Anna teaches him, but being afraid of everything, he learns that he has to let his fear go.  Riding and training with the outlaw's wife, Albert and Anna develop a strong relationship in a weeks’ time, and it could turn into so much more before it is rudely interrupted by her husband’s return. 

Now, the main story is what the focus is on, but this is a comedy right, so let’s get to what you will be laughing at.  There are many ways to die in the west and several have been highlighted in the trailers that will leave you shaking your head, but there are a few more in the movie that are just off the reservation.  Falling ice, gun shots, a renegade bull, massive farts, you are not allowed to feel comfortable with any single way to die in the west, as there are just too many.  I do have two scenes in the movie that are the most memorable for me without someone dying.  First is a touching moment between Albert and Anna when a diamond back snake comes to their feet and they carry on a motionless conversation that should make you smile as they get to know each other.  The second is the training montage of Albert learning to shoot and become the man Anna sees him as being.

Don’t go into this movie expecting to see Family Guy or American Dad or be riddled with references to both of them.  This is a standalone movie that focuses on the humor, not the overlaps.  I am not going to lie, I walked out with some doubts about what I saw, but the more I think about it, it did its own thing and with some fantastic cameos and one that will make any kid from the eighties applaud, it served its purpose for me in making me laugh.  Movie talk: This was shot very well and the background music took me back to the days when orchestras were used more than songs you hear on the radio every day.  Also a musical number plays in the film and if you have any facial hair, you will leave with a big smile on your face.  On a special note, it is nice to see that someone else has the same fear about prairie dogs as I do.  Watch the movie and you will understand.  Happy Viewing.

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