‘What If…?’ Recap: ‘What If… Zombies?!’

Written by Shae Rufe

Caution: This article contains spoilers for Episode Five of ‘What If…?’
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Is it just me or does every episode get darker as we go along? I feel like they do, personally, and I am 100% here for it. What do you get when you take Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and combine them with John’s favorite horror genre? The darkest episode of a Marvel mini-series so far. We thought Wanda losing Vision all over again was dark, somehow no. This… this is a lot darker. For starters I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was not this. The action, the adventure, the sadness. It was as if they had a true Walking Dead/Marvel cross over. The amount of people we just lost throughout this one episode has definitely left some emotional scars. And for those of you who read the comics, it is a fantastic shout out episode! Although, it would have been an amazing way to introduce Deadpool. Instead, they introduced the Zombie virus in a very unique way and also called back to Ant-Man and the Wasp. While Hank did find Janet in the Quantum Realm, things are not as they seem. Seems there are some pretty strange things down there, and Janet was infected, and she infects Hank who comes back and infects Scott. Hope escapes, because someone has to, right? From there it spreads. The Avengers think they’re answering a call for help and one by one they all succumb to the Zombie Virus.
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What’s probably the most fun about this episode is these aren’t The Walking Dead zombies many of us have gotten to know. These zombies are smart. Like Zombie Doctor Strange is still able to do magic smart. Bruce Banner lands in the Sanctum as he does in the beginning of Infinity War to warn everyone about Thanos, only to find that all his friends are now zombies that want to turn him. He’s rescued by the Cloak of Levitation and Peter Parker. Not to worry because Thanos is still attacking which means Ebony Maw and Cull Obsidian still arrive and are ready to fight. Which they do and are promptly turned into zombies. All hope is not lost though as there is a group of survivors. Once rescued, Bruce is taken to meet up with Hope, Sharon, Bucky, Happy, Okoye, and Kurt. Hope explains everything that happened, and Bruce is quick to offer his help, even if the Big Guy isn’t. There is a signal coming from New Jersey that touts a cure, and that is where they decide to go. Guys, really, there is not one reality where I am willingly going on a train to New Jersey. That’s not to say New Jersey isn’t nice or nobody should visit. I am not a train person, and this show is exactly why. If I am going to Jersey, I’m flying in. Plus, if there is a Zombie Apocalypse, I am probably not making it very far. I need running water, ample clean bathrooms, snacks, and Wi-fi, don’t even get me started on the naps.

Right, so, all these people are way more adept at surviving a zombie hell scape than me, which they should be, they’re heroes. They happily storm the train station to get a train out of New York, and it goes about as well as you were expecting. Zombie Avengers show up and Zombie Falcon gets sliced in half by Okoye, and Bucky is just okay with it. Although, in this universe, they didn’t get to really have that bonding experience that they did in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, so I suppose that’s fair. Sharon is almost our first loss when Zombie Hawkeye shoots her. Also, mad skill to Zombie Hawkeye, I can’t imagine it’s easy to pull back a bow when you’re a zombie, but he does great. I’m not just saying that because he’s my absolute favorite Avenger or anything… but really, read the Hawkeye comics, they’re amazing and do him justice. Sharon is saved by Happy, who is our first casualty. They make it to the train, and we almost think Bucky might be our next loss, but he defeats Zombie Cap with the cold indifference of someone who’s accepted that their best friend is a zombie. Sharon is our next loss though, and Hope shrinks down and flies into her before turning back to normal size. Please tell me why Scott couldn’t do that to Thanos? If that wasn’t gut wrenching and gross enough, we do find out that Hope has been infected. And in true zombie movie fashion, she manages to get everyone to where they need to go in New Jersey before dying dramatically and awesomely.

So, who was sending that signal? Who had a possible cure? Vision of course. He managed to cure Scott, well most of Scott. Mostly just Scott’s head in a Futurama style jar. Bucky goes exploring, because that’s what you do in a zombie movie. He finds T’Challa, well most of T’Challa. Turns out Vision rescued him… and also was luring people here with that signal so he could feed them to Zombie Wanda. Yeah, legit, that is how this episode is going to go. Vision couldn’t stop Wanda, but he could feed her and keep her docile until he found a successful cure for her. That’s just a whole lot of wrong. Almost worse than enslaving an entire town and forcing them to live out your weird television obsessed fantasies with a created version of your dead boyfriend. The Scarlet Witch has her powers and is hungry and wastes no time bringing the remaining survivors down, one by one. It’s made worse when Vision decides to take zero responsibilities for his actions and rips the Mind Stone from his head and just un-alives himself to avoid the consequences of his actions. It’s down to Peter, Bruce, and T’Challa (and Scott’s head) now, and Bruce decides to give them time to get away. The Hulk has no problem facing off against a Zombie Scarlet Witch while T’Challa takes Peter and what’s left of Scott in a Quinjet to head for Wakanda, the apparent only haven left. They narrowly escape a giant Zombie Wasp and all’s well that ends well, right? No, Zombie Thanos still shows up and he’s only missing the Mind Stone.

Out of all the possible Universes they’ve explored so far, this one is not on my wish to visit list. Like. Ever.

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