An Interview with Monique and Derek from ‘Life After Lockup’

Monique and Derek are long time icons of the Lockup franchise on WE tv. To the point where they have now appeared in two shows in the franchise, and we were able to sit down with this couple to discuss their experiences as former stars of Love After Lockup and as current stars of Life After Lockup.
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John Betancourt: Let’s talk about what motivated the two of you to join this storied franchise.

Monique: Well, we, first of all, we didn't apply to be on the show, like the opportunity presented itself to us. And it definitely took us some time to think about before we actually agreed to it. Only because we knew like our life was gonna be displayed in front of the world. But I would say I mainly agreed to do it just to give other couples that was in my position hope that it may or may not work out but could be positive and just still go for it. Just still follow your heart.

Derek: Like Monique said we didn't apply for it. She was in the Facebook group that focused on incarcerated family and friends. And in that group, casting directors had reached out to the group and was actually inquiring about relationships and whatnot. And Monique was one of the females who they reached out to; Monique told the story. And they took a liking to it. By that time, it was about two years together. So, I was going to come home. And I was hesitant at first because I was like a private person. So, it took a lot of Monique, my family, my supporters, saying, “You should try it out. You know, you really love her. Y'all should do it.” And I thought about it. And then it finally was like, I was like, “I’ll do it. Let's go. I want to do it. Let's do it. Let's make it work.”

John Betancourt: So, you mentioned a bit of trepidation and concern about how this might change your lives, so with that in mind… what has changed now that you are both reality television stars?

Derek: Well, the smallest things, I'm gonna start with the smallest things, first. No more phone calls now that I'm with her in person. Like no more FaceTime, no more letters, we're right here together, we're loving on each other. And we're in the physical. So that's been one of the biggest differences that has kind of turned for the better, and now that we're well received and liked and out there like you said, it’s good. All the eyes on us, we’re getting notoriety and recognition. And now that we're able to have that light I want to be hope for others. Couples that are going through the things we're going through or went through and be able to show them that it's possible. We can have our bad moments and some hard times and get past it and be able to continue to love on your significant other, and be able to have some good moments, good memories and, you know, have some fun, be happy.

Monique: Pretty much everything that he said changed for me also. And then a lot of supporters are like you know, “You know, you give me and my relationship hope. My man is coming home at X amount of time.” So, I think me and Derek’s relationship definitely inspires others, like you go can through things, have bad moments and still overcome.

John Betancourt: What are some of the challenges you’ve run into in doing this kind of show?

Monique: The challenges for me was the… all-day and all-night filming. That was really tiring for me. And then like me wanting to spend that alone time with him. Like we really didn't have a long time like that because we were filming all the time. When we weren't filming, we were sleeping. So, we basically went through a lot of things like, on camera. So, we really didn't have that much alone time, per se, that was.

Derek: And the challenges like, as of late, recent challenges is having like, more voices, more comments, more opinions, on our relationship, more eyes. So, with that, it’s like, if we let that take hold, and if we let that voice be a little louder in our ears, or we see something that we don't like, it can really change our mood. And I try to stay away from that. But Monique, sometimes I think she lets some things get to her, she's doing better now. But in the early on, it was getting to her and that was a challenge. I had to tell her like, “Everybody will have an opinion, not everybody's gonna like us, not everybody's gonna have something good to say about us.” You to have, like, sometimes ignore it. It's easier said than done. It's like me, I'm better at it than others. But that right there was a challenge early on that we had to really dig deep and figure out how to get over that. And then now like you said, we’re still on TV. And people still come in and it's not stopping, not letting up. So, I gotta tell her sometimes you just gotta… just don't even look at it. Pay no attention.

John Betancourt: Now having cameras around you for a better part of you day, how do you prepare for that mentally?

Derek: So, me, well, honestly me leaving prison. You know, it was so fun. Like, I didn’t have to read a script. I didn't have to, like, do any type of prep work. That's one thing that I like, how could this be me? Do me. And this is who I am. So, it was fun. It was fun. It was really fun. I really had a good time. It was fun. Because I was intrigued. You know, I went from a new day, slow pace in prison, cells, bars, you know, just that life in itself is boring. Nobody wants to be there. I didn't want to be there. And then I get out. And then I'm having a time of my life on camera. That was fun. That was really fun. I really had a great time.

Monique: Me on the other hand. I mean, the whole overall experience was fun for me. But the long hours I did not like, um, people used to always be like, “Why does she have an attitude?” Like because I was angry. I was tired. Like, my bedtime is at seven o’clock at night. So, the late scenes that we had and like the early morning scenes, like I was like annoyed. But I enjoyed the experience. It was fun.

John Betancourt: Out of curiosity, how many hours a day do you two spend on camera?

Monique: We were filming for at least like… what? Ten, twelve hours a day?

Derek: Yeah. Ten, twelve hours.

John Betancourt: What’s changed from a relationship perspective for you two in doing this show?
Derek: I want to say nothing changed.

Monique: Yeah, I wouldn’t say anything.

Derek: Nothing changes. It’s more so like right now, we're not filming. And they're not getting the good moments. Like all the moments you see on TV, is every moment that we share in the first of our, in the beginning of our relationship. So now that like we have been through that. I had to get to know Monique all over again and people didn’t understand that. Oh, hey, I have to get to know her again. That was the real-life truth reality of it. I was in prison. She was out in the free world. We didn't have any contact visits. And we was going off like video visits, letters, phone calls. And pictures, so I had to relearn Monique all over again, and really be honest, this is the raw uncut there. I had to really… and she had to do the same thing. Everything I was saying to her and everything she said to me, I had to see… was it true? So, we had to go through that phase, “You said you liked this? Do you really like that? Are you just saying that to make me feel comfortable?” And now she had to look at me, like, “You said, Derek, you like the pink lemonade? Do you really like pink lemonade?” Now that was the part that like, even her family didn’t understand that part when I say that, and that was just me being, you know, just, unapologetic. Just raw with it like, her sisters, I gotta get to know your sisters all over again. She gotta get to know me all over again. Granted, we going off of what each other said, but we realistically we had to get to know each other all over again. Now that we past that, we got to know each other all over again, we know each other and we’re moving forward. We happy.

John Betancourt: Now this show is obviously a global phenomenon, what does it mean to each of you to be part of that?

Monique: It’s great. I was a fan of the show before I watched it from season one. And for me to actually be a part of it, is kind of surreal for me, because I didn't expect that story to blow up as big as it did. Like, I was just following my heart and just being myself on TV. So, I had no idea it was gonna be so successful.

Derek: And me on the other hand, I didn't really watch. I didn't know nothing about it. So now that I'm actually on it, and it's doing well, like you said, like, I like it. It's fun. It's like, I'm watching it now. And I'm liking it. And I'm, I'm tuned in. I'm like, “Okay, I can get used to this.” It's been fun.

John Betancourt: To expand on that a little bit. We’ve shared in some really intimate moments with the two of you, what does it mean to have your love and your life shared with the world?

Derek: So, it’s delicate, it’s really delicate, because I can say some things that might not sit well with Monique and vice versa. And then the world sees, and it makes a comment that my agrees with how I felt in that moment. And Monique has dealt with that. And I had to tell Monique. “Yes, that's the way I felt. And I was just being honest, or this will happen, I was just being honest.” And then having people speaking about it and talking about it and agreeing with that feeling… it can really put a strain on a relationship. So, we've been able to overcome a lot of those moments and get past it, and still be happy and that is… just amazing. It's amazing. Like, I never really thought I'd actually put my life and my love on camera for the world to see. And it's really shown me that I've grown up and matured to be able to do that. And what better way to do that with the love of my life. So, I'm, I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of Monique for sticking with me through the ups and downs.

Monique: I would say everything is magnified. So, every little bit and piece that we say. So, like every episode that we're on, it's trending all over. So, I think we were just honest with like, how we feel what we were going through. So, I just think that… I just feel like everything that we do or say is criticized, and at times, it can be a little hard for me, but now I'm learning how to deal with it better. So, I'm still gonna be me.

John Betancourt: Of course, being in a show this popular definitely puts you in a place of influence, where you can provide folks with a lesson. What do you hope audiences learn from your journey on this show?

Monique: What I want people to take away from my journey, is to be yourself, follow your heart, and just do whatever your heart tells you to do, don't care about what people may say or think. Just do you.

Derek: Specifically, I want to tell others that… don't let others dictate what you do or what you say, you know. And over, over time, a person grows up and changes for the better, in the things that he wants. And joy, kind of gets old, and a person grows up and broader things. And as, for me, I grew up in prison. So, I learned how to be a man while I was inside. And a lot of people didn't know that. And now they're seeing that. And I'm having setbacks, while they're seeing that. And it's okay, that's the human side, making mistakes is human. I made some mistakes. You have to use old mistakes and learn from them, and I want to be some motivation. Like, even though you make the mistake, get back up, pick your head up, learn from the mistakes and make, like, not like let your life or your time and that moment define you. Because you can be better, you can do better. You just have to learn from your mistakes. And don't let people put you down. Never give up and love who you want to love. That would be my message to anybody else. Like, it's okay. It's okay to cry. It's okay to hurt, feel pain. It's okay for you to love whoever you want to love.

John Betancourt: Last question I have for you today, what are you most proud of when it comes to your time on this show?

Monique: I'm most proud of everyone seeing me experience my first true love. Pretty much. It wasn't everything that I imagined. But as far as me, and Derek having our most private and first moments found on camera. That was good for me. Like we had a lot of good times on TV. And I'm just happy it all worked out in my favor.

Derek: I'm proud of Monique giving me the chance because she was hesitant to make the next step, the journey from Chicago to Ohio, and be with me. And that's a big step because I'm like, “Wow.” We had to really talk about that. That was a big step for her, you know, but I had helped her along the way when I was incarcerated. I helped her study and get her driver's license, because it took her some time to get her driver's license. And I was her motivation then, and I'm proud of me being that positive light for her while I was inside. And like inspiring her in seeing and believing in her potential. And to tap into her potential. And so I'm proud of myself, to be able to help her and be able to help others, like, be all they can be like I said, and not letting setbacks or mistakes, define them. So that's, that's the moment itself, for me, I'm proud of. I know get a lot of flak on TV. But if people can see anything, take anything from Derek is, you know, you can go through some things, you've got some setbacks, you're gonna get knocked down, pick your head up, never give up on yourself. And don't let that moment that mistake, define you. And you can always be better and do better.

This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.  

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