An Interview with Lindsey from ‘Life After Lockup’

Lindsey has undergone quite the transformation during her time in the Lockup franchise on WE tv. For we’ve seen her at her absolute lowest, and we’ve watched with wonder as she gained control of her addiction and grew before our eyes, and we here at NTG were lucky enough to sit down with Lindsey, to discuss her journey.
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John Betancourt: How did you get involved with the franchise?

Lindsey: Okay, so obviously, this may not surprise you, but Love After Lockup is huge in prisons, like everybody watches it on Friday nights. That and like 60 Days In. I know it's weird, you think like being in prison you wouldn't watch shows about people being in prison, but you do. Oxymoron. But um, I had never considered being on the show, Scott actually said something to me about it. And I was really surprised because, you know, Scott didn't give me the “Let's be on TV vibes.” Yeah, he said, “We'll just, we'll just see how it goes. We'll just send it. Just email them and see how it goes.” And I was like, “I mean, yeah, I guess.” The next thing I know, we're filming, we're on a TV show.

John Betancourt: What changed in your life by being part of this show?   

Lindsey: You know, not much. I got a few additional social media followers. Sometimes, when I'm getting groceries, somebody will take a picture with me, which I always think is really cool, actually. Because I tell people all the time, like, you know, I'm not actually famous, like, I didn't do anything. I didn't take acting classes. I didn't, you know, I didn't work hard to become great at a sport or anything. I just, you know, I'm known for going to jail. (Laughter) So, it's really cool when people like one actually, like, stop and take a picture with me and stuff. I’m just like, “Yeah!”

John Betancourt: Now that brings up an interesting question. What do you think it is that you’ve done to motivate people to gravitate to you in that manner?

Lindsey: I think that the me that you've seen in the past couple of seasons is much more relatable before when I was, you know, dealing with active addiction. You know, the end of the first Love After Lockup I was on… I had relapsed and you could… it's very clear I had relapsed. And you see that, like it's very sensational. It's entertaining to watch. But it's almost like it's very unrelatable. Because generally, when you're not doing drugs, you don't have crazy stuff happening in your life. You just don't. I don't have any just obscenely crazy stories. I haven't scratched anybody's desk; I haven't damaged any properties. I haven't been arrested. You know, you don't see a lot of these just obscene things happening. And so, for me, I think now the person who I am becoming, slowly as it may be, is much more relatable for people to actually… I mean, I'm working a regular job. I'm paying regular bills, I'm having regular problems, which is… it's really fun to me, you know, it's nice when you find boring. When you start equating boring with peacefulness. It's a definite, like, you can see the growth in myself.

John Betancourt: Now what kind of challenges did you run into being on this series? 

Lindsey: So, you have to have a really thick skin, either that or you have to get off social media, and you have to stay off of Reddit, Reddit is a bad place. So because the thing is, you know, you're seeing the show, they have to edit so much out, it's just for content purposes, that they're trying to follow the story of so many people and they have to cut it down to so little, you're missing… so much of the story that I wish could be told, like on the last episode, you really see me having this huge breakdown, after this day. But you don't really understand what the breakdown was for, I was exhausted, you know, you didn't see all the little things that had happened. You didn't see, you know, I didn’t get to lay down and go back to sleep. You didn’t see that I was supposed to be going back to work that night. You didn't see all the little things that built up to that point. That's unfortunately, one of the things that you don't get to see in a lot of these shows is the little bitty tiny aspects. Because if you, you know, straw that broke the camel's back is a very legitimate thing. And that's kind of what I was dealing with that night. You don't get to see a lot of those small buildups, you get to see the peaks and the high points and low points, but you don't get to see a lot of that in between.

John Betancourt: So, how often then, are you on camera?

Lindsey: They're with you all the time. Yeah, they're there all of the time. And that’s another thing, people are like, “Oh, you would never have sex on camera.” Because, you know, I was trying to have sex with Blaine when I found his ankle monitor and people are like, “That's… that's really set up. You would never have sex on camera.” I’ve had sex on camera many times, okay? I have, honestly. They're there all the time. They’re just there. At first, I could have never done that. But after a while, you just kind of get to where you ignore them. They're just… they're just a part of the life. And sometimes they’re in the way when you're trying to get to the bathroom. They just become a norm.

John Betancourt: Would you say there’s a point where this just becomes second nature? Or is there a long transition to getting used to it?

Lindsey: It feels awkward at first, you know, to live your daily life with so many people there, and they do a great job, they stay out of your way. They don't, you know, they don't talk to you. They don't, they don't, they don't bother you. They're there to observe. It's really weird to have people there to observe when you're eating dinner, it just is. At first, it was very hard to get used to. But I was also… a lot of when I first started, a lot of it was in the midst of COVID. So, things were a little bit different then, too, everything was different then, too. And we had a lot of a lot of cameras being set up, it felt like I was basically like, like I had a security system around me. It was very different.

John Betancourt: We’ve been privy to some genuinely honest moments with you, is it difficult to be that open on camera?

Lindsey: Oh, it's extremely hard. It's extremely hard, not all the time, like at this point in my life… like I said, they're almost something I can choose to just ignore and go on about my life. But what gets difficult is seeing the hard times play out on television. The hardest I've ever had was when I was actually in jail. I'm actually watching my first season of Love After Lockup. And because I went to jail legitimately during the season, I was out of jail during the first episode, by the second episode, I was in jail. So, I was getting the entire aspect of it. I was watching my mistakes play out. When you’re in jail, you play it on repeat how you got here, what you did to get here, you're stuck in that. And then I was actually watching it play out in front of me, it was so difficult because I could see the point in the show where I relapsed. You know, you might not have seen it on camera, but you could see it in my actions. You can see it in my eyes, you can see my mannerisms. So, for me, it was legitimately watching the mistakes I had made played out and it was really… I didn’t watch my first season. I didn't watch all of it.

John Betancourt: So, how then, do you reconcile that?

Lindsey: I guess… a part of it is just getting used to it and getting accustomed to, to it being there. And another thing is I kind of learned is to separate myself, so I'm on my social medias, but I don't watch a lot of, you know, I don't do a lot of like watching the YouTubers that like kind of recap the show and stuff like that. I don't go on Reddit, you know, very seldomly I'll do so. I learned to draw the line. You know, this is my life. Yes, I'm putting it out there. But there's not a whole lot of point, or sense for me to go and hear what people have to think about it. I see it for myself.

John Betancourt: What would you say being on the show has taught you?

Lindsey: Um, it was hard, it really has taught me to worry about what I think. Because if I really, I mean, I listen to people, I hear what they say, when they're vocal about it, and things like that. But at the end of the day, I'm going to worry about me and mine, I have to worry about how I feel, how my daughter feels, how my mom feels. And sometimes how Blaine feels. (Laughter from Lindsey and John) I have to really draw the line; I had to not let the viewers of the show dictate how I ended up living my life. I had to really watch myself on that. Because it would be very easy to try to say, “Oh, what are they going to say about me if I do this, or they're gonna say about me if I do that,” and I can't… I can't live like that. It's not healthy, and it wouldn't be living, it wouldn't be being true to myself.

John Betancourt: What do you hope others take from your time on this show?

Lindsey: I have to say that I mean, if I can do it, anybody can do it. My addiction… it was severe. Honestly, it was, and when you're in that active addiction, you really feel like you can maintain it, you feel like people aren't gonna notice, you feel like you're gonna be able to continue that addiction and live your daily life and it's just… it's… it's not going to happen. It's not a legitimate option. For me to be able to finally get to the place where I can say, you know, I'm over a year and a half sober, I work a good job, you know, I am becoming the mother that I want to be for my child, I want other people to say, “Hey, if she can do it, I can do it, she was bad off.” Because I was. My addiction was severe.

John Betancourt: And look at you now. What an amazing and inspiring journey you’ve been on and speaking of that journey, what kind of advice would you to offer to folks that are watching and going through their own struggles with addiction right now.

Lindsey: Reaching out, I mean, being vocal that you need help, it's really, it's hard to get started, because you can't do it by yourself. I actually, when I was in active addiction, I tried to quit on my own four times, and I never made it past the fourth day, I was never able to detox on my own, and I never would have been successful in recovery, much less even sobriety, you know, on my own. So, you have to reach out. There are people that are there, there are tons of people that are there for you, you just have to find those resources, it's as simple as calling a 1-800 number sometimes. Get to a rehab, there are plenty that are gonna be paid for by the state, there are plenty that are offered that are free, get to a meeting, it's just taking that first step is really hard. And once you get that first step, you have to have that support system, have some great therapists, I have a team of therapists practically, as I'm in therapy eight times a month, I have group and I have two different types of individual therapy. And that's where so much of my growth has come from. Because I trust these people, I trust them. I trust the people in my group, I trust the people that you know, that are trained to give me good advice. I trust your advice, and I may not always take it! But I trust it’s what I needed to do! (Laughter from Lindsey and John)

John Betancourt: What does it mean to you to be able to share your journey?

Lindsey: You know, when I first got on the show, I really couldn't think of any good reason… like I'm back in jail. And I’ve done, you know, this on TV, and there was really, I wasn't seeing a lot of positive, because all I did was get on TV and you show you exactly what not to do! Don't do these things! Don't carve obscenities into people's desks. Don't destroy other people's property, don't do drugs! These are bad. So, for me, it's good. It's a good place to be and now to finally start to get some positivity and to say, you know, things are moving in a good direction in my life and to have the show be there for that aspect of it. Because I feel like… I feel like a lot of people are really, I mean, I was bad off, you know, my… my addiction is… I am in a one-track mind when I get on that. Once I made to my recovery center, everything else kind of fell in place. I got a good job, you know, things are going… you know, I like paying bills, I like boring, I like regular, it's nice. I advise it for everybody. The addiction is hard. It's miserable. I was so unhappy.

John Betancourt: What does it mean to be part of a franchise that is… a global phenomenon?

Lindsey: It is so cool. And I love that they went out on a limb with me because honestly, after the first season, I was a hot mess. Letting me come back for this, you know, the second time around with Daonte, and then to continue with my storyline like that. That really, really means something to me, I love being a part of this family. I love being part of the franchise. And they're so good to us. Like they really are, they do… I promise you if I relapse tomorrow, and I called the network and said, “I need help,” I promise you, the network will come through for me. Like they are very supportive of us.

John Betancourt: In keeping with that theme of personal meaning, what does it mean to you, to know that you’re likely inspiring people struggling with addiction, to get the help they need?

Lindsey: You know what, that's my absolute all-time favorite. I get so many messages that people say hey, “You’re an inspiration, send me advice.” Like that's the quickest way to get me to respond on social media is come to me and talk to me about your addiction because I love to hear the success stories. I'd love to be there if you're struggling. I love that. That is an initial part of the show. And I love that people who need that help are actually able to get it from a TV show because you know it clicks for some people. It didn't work in jail. I didn't… jail did not make me not want to do drugs anymore. It just… it didn't work. Mine happened to be Church, and God, but whatever it is for you, whether it be church, a TV show, you know, run into somebody who helps you change. It doesn't matter what it is, whatever it is, cling to that, run with that, whatever we can do to get people sober, whatever we can do to get people out of that lifestyle I'm down for I love it. It’s such a bonus.

John Betancourt: Last question I have for you today, what you most proud of when it comes to your time on this show?

Lindsey: I like… I'm most proud of. So, there's this one scene that I was actually like, with my daughter, and like, we're just walking in heels and just having fun. But I really like that, we’re able to see my growth. Because I watch myself and my first season. I'm like, “Holy crap, that's tragic.” If I watch myself, from when I first got out of prison and the time, I’m with Daonte, you can see my growth between then and now. It's really, really a fun aspect for me getting to see… I have done so much better from this point, you know, you know that you're doing better, you know how hard you're working, but it's another thing to actually get to see it play out. So, I really enjoy that. I really enjoy that each season I'm going a little bit better, a little bit more, a little bit harder.

This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.

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