Why I Can't Sleep at Night

2/13/2016

Written by Scotty

I am like the millions of people around the world that suffer from Insomnia and have a heck of a time falling and staying asleep. But I was thinking if Insomnia was not a real thing, what actually could be waking me up from my slumber and with all of the scary movies I like to watch, they might give me answers as to why I cannot stay asleep. So, without further ado, here are the possible reasons why, at least I cannot sleep a full night and am always tired in the mornings.

The Gnomes in my room come alive and work while I am sleeping. Now, if you do not know yet, I am a huge fan of Garden Gnomes and they do not only take up a shelf at work, but they are scattered around my room. They could be working to protect me from the terrors at night, or just organizing my massive DVD collection, but they want to stay busy since there is no garden for them to protect. I have never thought of Gnomes as being violent, but I know they can be mischevious and possibly looking to take their revenge on me since I have not given them the best of lives.

There might be a Voodoo doll with my name on it. I try not to upset people, I treat them like I like to be treated, but I have a long yet distinguished list of people that do not like me. What if one of these people have started to practice the art of Voodoo? Since the Voodoo doll is not designed to kill the soul that is attached to it, it is designed to inflict pain and torment the target, I cannot see a better reason than this to keep someone awake at night. Set the alarm for 1:30am, roll over, stick a pin in the doll and go back to sleep. This could be one of the worst torments in the world when it comes down to it, the body and mind needs sleep and keeping someone from it will drive them to madness. I am really sorry (insert name here), I would love to make it up to you if you would be willing to let me sleep.

The Monster under my bed is back. I know that we all had a monster under our beds when we were kids. He was there to keep us from getting up in the middle of the night and walking around and annoying our parents. Usually it just goes away as we get older, but what if it is back. I do not remember the name of mine, I am not sure if I actually named it, but it is making noises under my bed for no other reason than to let me know that it is there. I am just waiting for it to put its clawed hand out and grab me in the middle of the night, it seems like something that it would relish in doing to keep me from falling asleep ever again.

There is a Vampire outside of the window. If you know some of the older vampire lore, these blood suckers are not allowed into a house unless they are invited in. Well, I don’t like letting people into the house, so they are stuck outside and want to make my life difficult until I decide to let them in. What better time to do this, than at night? Knowing that I am a light sleeper, they just sit outside the window and continuously tap on it to keep me from a full night’s sleep. Darn you bloodsuckers, I might have to get a night job since you are not able to do this when the sun is out.

There is a Ghost in the house. Yes, I believe in ghosts and why on earth should I not? I go to the Stanley Hotel every year to be around them since I think it is awesome that they are sticking around to say hi. But what if it is a vengeful ghost that is not looking to make nice with me? Well then, that would be a reason why I cannot see what is happening around me, just hearing noises and seeing things move on their own. Maybe the ghost wants to chat in the middle of the night about his or her fears about being dead, or just wants to scare the pants off of me from a dead sleep. I cannot answer the question at this time, but I have tried to record voices in my room before, but I come up dry since apparently I snore pretty loud.

There is Someone else in the house. That is always a possibility. I do not check the basement or the attic on a daily basis to see if there is someone lurking around. You never know what a squatter is capable of if they run into the home owner. They could be a deranged psycho killer that is looking to wear your skin like a suit. With all of the knives in the house, I would be afraid to see him or her coming at me in the middle of the night. Not being able to sleep with a light on these days could be a bad thing when all is said and done and my beautiful bearded face is being pulled on as a mask to greet my visitors.

Well, there you have it, anyone of these reasons could be why I am not able to sleep, but I am leaning towards the Voodoo reason at this point. Since I keep waking up at the same time every morning, this seems to be the best reason right now. I am usually awake during the Witching hour when ghosts start to appear and I have not met a vampire I didn’t like yet. But the scary one is that there is someone else in the house that I don’t know about, maybe I won’t be sleeping for a long time now with that thought just running through my head. Well, sweet dreams, I hope to have them soon as well.

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