I feel the need to apologize for this blog right off the bat. It has been the weirdest week at work, ever. Like, I can’t even begin to start with what has been going on. Through the madness, however, I got to thinking of things that would just make life easier. Or things that could make life better. Like free chocolate with any sad movie ever. P.S. I Love you would go a lot better with some Hershey kisses. Or better yet, a free box of tissues right before an episode of Supernatural. That show hurts your feels. If you have watched Supernatural without ever crying, there’s something wrong with you….and we should probably be friends, because you have a cool superpower.
 
Netflix needs a “Leaving Soon” section. I shouldn’t have to read about what shows and movies are being taken off this mystical place on some internet site. I should be able to get onto Netflix and see a “Things you probably never were going to watch, but now they’re being taken of the site, so watch them all now” section. The title needs a lot of work, but you know exactly what I mean. Netflix also needs better categories. Like an ‘are you sure?’ section. Or better yet, they need a privacy mode. Nobody needs to log onto the Netflix account and see that I literally binge watched every kids movie on here. Which, I’ve done, with little shame. Nobody should know that I watched every Tinkerbelle themed movie! That’s privileged information, thank you very much.
 
Amazon really needs a ‘Drunk’ or ‘Sad’ mode. I like to shop a lot when I’m either down or might have had a few drinks, because I’m 30 and a human and that’s what 30 year old humans do. Amazon needs to have a set limit, and when you have added more than that, it automatically puts them on a wish list so if you do buy some things, it’s not as bad. Why did I need 3 wig brushes and two BB-8 pillows? I’m not sure. I also ordered a new wig and probably some dishes….for real though, drunk Amazon ordering is the weirdest thing ever. It’s like Christmas when the packages arrive…and then you look at your bank account…
 
iTunes needs to personally text you when new songs are released by artists that you’re obsessed with. I don’t have time to sit and pay attention to when Lindsey Stirling is releasing a new album. I hardly remember to get on and download new music once a year. But if iTunes could send a “hey, the violinist you’re weirdly obsessed with just put a new song up for sale” text, I’d gladly buy it. Same applies with any Epic Rap Battle song. Because….they’re enjoyable.
 
And finally, Pizza needs to just automatically be prescheduled to show up at my house. It is Sunday or Monday night, I just started my work week, I am not about to cook dinner. I should be able to order a pizza and preschedule the next delivery. Why? Because pizza is life, and is probably not helping my whole “Let’s get healthy for me!” thing. But who cares. Pizza places also need to start offering milkshakes. What’s better than pizza? A chocolate and peanut butter milkshake.

So as many of you may or may not know his last year has been very hard for me. There was an unexpected death in the family that has me, personally, still reeling from the tragedy. With that comes a whole host of things. Depression isn't easy, and a lot of us suffer from it quietly. I'm not going to get on a soap box about it but lately I have been working on ways to bring myself out of my depression. One of those has been talking about some major changes in my life.

One of which involves cosplays. I love cosplay, as a hobby. I think it can be fun, a great way to make friends, and it's a great creative outlet. However, there is a dark side to cosplay. Sadly, I have met some people in the community turning cosplay into a popularity contest. Which, doesn't sit right with me.

Mattie and I got together and have really been talking. We both decided to support the cos-positive movement more this year. Listen, there's no denying that we nerds and geeks often struggle with self esteem issues and what not. And I'm not speaking for everyone. I personally struggle with body image, and my weight has always been an issue. But that doesn't make me any less awesome and that should not be a reason to not cosplay. People come in all different shapes and sizes, we all are unique and we need to embrace that. We are beautiful, which is why I really want to stress the cos-positive approach. If you want to do a certain cosplay, do it.

Another thing that's really been a push to make myself feel better is to be healthy. Whether that's walking, working out, or even just making healthier food choices. Food has a lot to do with our brain chemistry, and eating the tasty bad foods in moderation can help with that. Also, sometimes you just need an apple or a pile of grapes. Do you eat your food in piles? Because I do. Working out also helps create happy chemicals in the brain. So this Geek is going healthy. Unless you are a friend of mine on Facebook, then i just post all kinds of food videos.

Lastly, I'm exploring new tv shows, just for fun. Sometimes a comedy makes everything better. Modern Family is still my top favorite, but Superstore has me in stitches. I really enjoy watching a show that everyone has worked in retail can relate to. Seriously, it's just a good hearted show. While I adore all those amazing Geek shows, I also need a bit of a break from the drama. Don't get my wrong, I love Supernatural, but that show can be heavy.

And also, buying things.....like the BB-8 bomber jacket from Hot Topic.....I don't have a problem. I can stop whenever I want. But really, I'm at a point where I just want to surround myself with happy...everything and I'm glad I could share these thoughts with all of you today as I do my best to heal.