A Few Thoughts on Spinel from ‘Steven Universe: The Movie’

Written by Shae Rufe

THIS IS THE EMERGENCY SPOILER ALERT SYSTEM...YOU ARE ADVISED TO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...

​I really need to get this off my chest so massive Spoiler warning for Steven Universe: The Movie.

If you’re new and you don’t already know, I stumbled upon this show at a very low point in my life and ever since, have been obsessed. If you don’t know the show, you should give it a try! It follows the story of Steven, a half boy, half alien, in his quest for peace in the universe! I mean kind of? There’s a lot of twists and turns and it’s just a really good show. The thing I’ve always loved about this show is how deep its storylines run. It handles some genuinely heavy topics in such a magnificent way. From unhealthy abusive relationships, to dealing with the death of a parents, to even LGBTQ+ issues. This show doesn’t pull its punches and that’s what I absolutely love most about it. Steven solves things with talking instead of brute force. In a show that has almost anime style fights, Steven uses a shield instead of a weapon and his main power is healing. I always felt that Pearl had the absolute saddest story of all the characters on the show. And then the movie gave us Spinel. Now, I’ve watched this movie a lot more than I’m willing to admit, and I still sob when we finally see her back story. To say that Pink Diamond was the worst of all the Diamonds is an understatement. I have never bonded with a character quite like I bonded with Spinel. I saw myself in her so much and in so many ways that she just hit too close to home. Buckle up kids, we about to get real personal in this blog. Like probably more personal than I’ve ever been.

When we first meet Spinel, she’s the typical villain. Right? Because that’s how Steven Universe goes. Only when we finally get her story, finally see what made her the way she was, we get brutally stabbed in the feelings. Spinel isn’t just a random villain out for revenge on Rose. Spinel is literally damaged from Pink Diamond’s actions. She was left alone for 6,000 years while Pink went and led her life. She even brings her Pearl with her, but Spinel? Spinel gets left alone because Pink seemingly outgrew her. Spinel was created to be Pink’s Best Friend, which means she was designed to bring Pink joy and entertainment, and she did. At one point in the movie, Spinel even comments that she thought everything between them was great. When Pink got her colony, Spinel was so excited to be on this new adventure with her best friend. Only, Spinel literally got left standing alone for thousands of years. Her actions following the incident are reactionary to what she’s been through. The trauma of being abandoned like she was and what she experienced trigger anger, hysteria, and leave her quick to relapsing into those mental states. She admits to wanting to kill Steven, but later even asks herself what she’s doing and says that she only wanted to be his friend.

To someone who’s never experienced anything like that severe of abandonment, the things Spinel exhibits look a lot like a borderline personality disorder. To me, these are all symptoms of severe abandonment, something I’ve experienced personally. My biological father left at a very early age and literally wanted nothing to do with me. And while that’s not being left alone on a planet for 6000 years, some of the behaviors I’ve developed from it are similar. That one thing has set the course of every relationship I’ve ever had in my life. It’s made me paranoid, clingy, desperate to be a people pleaser and a fixer, self-sacrificing to a detrimental level, and above all, angry. You also learn to push people away before they can hurt you, and there’s this sense of little self-worth, depression/anxiety, and self-loathing that gets covered with self-deprecating jokes, and humor. Having friends do the same thing to you doesn’t help either. The storyline within this movie between Pink and Spinel hit home for me because I’ve had a few close friends abandon me like this. The worst was someone whom I was really close with. Granted, I was going through a ridiculously tough time in my life. The death of someone really close to me triggered so much. The second I felt like this friend didn’t care I shoved a barrier between us, but I had never expected to come home and find they’d moved out and left a note. At least I got a note, unlike Spinel.

During one scene, right after Spinel helps Steven save his planet, he says something that triggers her. She asks if that’s all he needed her for, and he says sort of. Spinel is sent into a regression of rage and to be honest, I really understood that. What Steven does, however, is not fight her. He defends himself sure, but he doesn’t actually attack her. He listens, blocks blows, and even tells her that she can make this right. When Spinel yells that he can’t change how she feels, I also lost it. Steven is the friend that is there even when you don’t want them to be. He doesn’t fight you, he just listens and helps you want to be better. Which is absolutely amazing and everybody needs that friend. I’m so lucky to have my Steven. The only good thing that came out of that very dark period in my life, is John. Truthfully speaking, we became the type of best friends that have been through everything together. Without him I wouldn’t be here or be the person I am today. So, for that, John, I thank you from the bottom of my soul.

Spinel is a character with a lot of depth and in her I saw not only myself, but other friends I’ve had in my life. The friends that shove you away the second you say something slightly wrong or that is misinterpreted. And while that can be hurtful, my advice is that sometimes we just need to be compassionate and understanding. I never knew how deep my own abandonment issues ran until I went to therapy and finally worked them out. Like Spinel, I’m not cured. Friendship isn’t easy for me, and it’s something I too have to work at. But I have friends that make me want to try. I have people in my life now who encourage me and love me even when I’m having a bad day. The anxiety that comes with abandonment is something that never goes away. I’m always worried I’m replaceable, because I’ve had people in my life who’ve fed that insecurity. I worry that I’m not good enough or that I’m not invited places because I’m not as fun. The truth is, I don’t need to be liked or have a lot of friends. I am enough for me, and I can make a change. People can’t fix you, that’s something only you can do. True friends aren’t going to abandon you. They’re not going to leave you because you had a bad day or even because you tried to push them away. A true friend will always be there for you. Steven said it best when he told Spinel she deserved a better friend than Pink.

After the movie, I understand that Pink has her side, but what she has continued to do to the people she supposedly cared about is unacceptable. Spinel broke my heart because I literally am her. The best part of this show, aside from the deep topics it showcases, is its ability to redeem the characters in it. I genuinely hope we see Spinel again and that she did find her better friend. While I don’t think the Diamonds are good for her, I do think a fresh start is. Sometimes, that’s what we all need.

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