Writing a Novel Part XVIII: Moving Forward

Written by John Edward Betancourt

It's been quite a while since we sat down to discuss Fallen Angel and my quest for representation and publication and there's good reason for that, I've been quite the busy little bee. My radio silence was never intentional, it's just that this blog is a unique venture now. There are no more anecdotes or discussion of how I built this book from the ground up because we have arrived at present day in this tale and the only stories to share with you revolve around what I've been doing to achieve my goals and the good news is...a lot has happened in the past couple of weeks since I last posted about the book.

For starters, I revamped my query letter. I finally dug in, fine tuned the first couple of paragraphs to make sure my summary of the story was crisp and intriguing and then I made sure to add my shiny new resume into the mix as well before letting a few folks read it to make sure everything about this letter popped off the page. Shae, who actually has a degree in English and had to study query letters went through it and declared it one of the best she'd ever seen. I'm sure she's biased since we're pals, but hey...I was totally okay with receiving a compliment like that.

All of that meant one thing however, it was time to find an agent and get the process going. So it was off to my Writer's Market account to start the hunt and I made a simple decision as my search began. Find one agent a week and query them. That way I'm not just sending out a mass mailer, I can take my time, really make sure this agent could be the right one for me and the book and that approach helped me pick out an agent in record time. Everything looked like a good fit, so it was time to simply load up the letter and my three chapter sample and hit send, right? Yeah...about that. 

​I won't lie to you guys, I sat there, ready to send this thing out and I completely and utterly froze. It was so bad in fact that I had to save the email to drafts and walk away stunned, because after all these years and after all the work in my mind to rid myself of and silence my fear and doubt...it was back once again. I guess in the end I'll never really escape it and this time around I decided to try something different when it came to dealing with it. Rather than fight it or try to distract myself to give it time to cool off before returning to the task at hand...I let it wash over me completely. 

I treated it like the flu quite frankly, and sometimes you need to let the flu run its course, give you a fever and burn itself out in the process and you know what? It worked. I just sat there, my mind gripped with the possibilities that everyone is going to say no. That I am going to fail miserably at this and have wasted my time chasing a silly dream. I'm glad I let it take hold. Because eventually it did burn out, quickly in fact and sitting there in a tiny panic allowed me to discover how to never let this happen again. I came to realize I, in a way, put this particular part of my life on a pedestal so to speak, and that puts undue pressure upon myself, my imagination and my psyche.

That means I had to treat this like an everyday thing. Ignore any significance I think it may represent in my mind and simply treat it as any other moment. That way when something good comes of this I can look on upon it fondly, but more importantly by letting go of the undue pressure...help myself move forward and achieve my goals. That little talk with myself and cool down period worked like a charm. Because it allowed me to sit down in front of my Mac, pull up my email, open up my drafts and hit send on that letter and let me tell you. It was like a weight instantly came off my shoulders. Whether or not this agency says yes, I got myself back into the thick of it and I couldn't be happier. After years of work, building my resume and toiling over a labor of love, Fallen Angel is heading back out into the publishing world, and I'm one step closer to living a life long dream. Until next time.