Truly there are three genuinely unnerving moments when it comes to writing a novel. The first one arrives when you're just about to start because at that point you are looking into the abyss of the unknown and who knows what you will find there. The second is after you've finished your book and hand it off to someone you trust to read it, because that is the first time you'll get solid feedback about your story, and then there's the third...when you send off that first query letter to an agent, simply because hey, they're professionals and you have to sell your entire idea in a single page. 

Now I am certain some of you out there reading this are unfamiliar with what I'm talking about when it comes to a query letter or you have merely heard of the term before. So before we get too deep into this blog, let's talk about what it is. The thing is, if you're planning to go the traditional publishing route, you're going to need an agent. I don't know of any major publisher out there that accepts your manuscript in unsolicited fashion since they have plenty on their plate and agents in the business are people they have worked with in the past and they trust their opinion. Once in a great while someone does sneak through the cracks and escapes the slush pile, but the odds of that are about the same as winning the lottery...so agents are really your best hope.

With that in mind, the query letter is designed to pitch your book, and yourself quite frankly in a single page. If you've done a fine enough job pitching your book in that letter, there's a chance the agent will want to see more of your work and request a few chapters and if they really like what they see, they will sign you to their agency and get to work on selling your book. So really, in a nutshell the query letter is a damn important piece of the process and it needs to be wonderful and precise and one hell of a pitch on paper and well...the querying process taught me a lot when I went through it the first time round.  For starters, I learned that getting an agent isn't easy and that the word "No" comes up way more than expected.

In fact that was a word I really had to get used to hearing, because despite all the research I did to make sure the agent was the right one for the book, thank you Writer's Market, and despite all the effort I put into crafting what I thought was a quality query letter...the answer when it came to representation was no. Granted it was more professional than that, because every agent I dealt with was classy, but none the less it concerned me and I have a funny feeling that this is where a lot of writers give up and either self publish or walk away. But I am a firm believer that if something isn't quite working, you approach it from another angle and well, I took a step back to look at what could be causing me to not get noticed. 

So to backtrack for a moment, a query letter is basically made up of three parts. The first is your introduction where you cover the basics of your novel. The word count, title and all that before moving into the second part, your pitch. This is where your story has to pop off the page and hook the reader, in this case an agent, to want to read and know more, and the last part is where you let the agent know a little about your career as a writer, including your credits. Think of it as a one paragraph resume and that's where it hit me. I had no resume to speak of. Does that mean you're disqualified as a writer and can never be published? No. It just means it's a longer road that you have to travel to get where you want to be.  

So, to be 100% sure my resume might be the issue, I pulled in a favor from an ex girlfriend who had a cousin in the publishing industry, and had said cousin read my letter. It cost me a steak dinner with a gal I didn't want to have dinner with ever again, but the things we do for a story, because it paid off. I was told that the letter looked good, I just had little to say about myself, which meant one thing...I needed a writing resume. Now I once had a friend tell me that this was a silly idea because if the book was good enough it should stand on its own but I sided with the agents. There are a lot of folks out there who think selling a single novel is the answer to all their problems, and that's all they want to do. But agents aren't looking for flashes in the pan, they are looking for folks who want to make a career out of creative writing. 

After all, this is a business as well and the commission from a single novel sale is not enough for an agent to pay all of the bills and unless it's a super smash hit, it's not exactly the answer to a writer's prayers either for that matter. So that meant one thing, I needed to show every agent I was going to query that I was serious about this. That I wanted to be a writer through and through who was willing to work his tail off to make a career out of this. So the querying process went on hold for a while as I settled in to ponder as to how exactly I would build my resume and well...this decision ended up being one of the best ones I've ever made in my life because it took me to some incredible places, and those wild adventures in writing are where we will pick up next time. Until then.

There's a lot to love about the novel writing process, and much of that we have celebrated in this blog series. We've talked about the wonder and awe that comes in the early stages of planning a book. We've talked about the highs and lows of the actual writing process and the absolute incredible feeling one gets when they finally finish that all important first draft. But...despite all the wonderful places this blog has managed to go, there is a dark place in the writing process that every single writer out there does their best to avoid. It's a place where dreams are crushed, fury reigns and boredom can easily settle in. I'm of course talking about...the editing process.

Sure perhaps that description of editing one's book is a little over the top and hammy as hell, but you know what, let's have a little fun with it because in reality, this part of the process...isn't fun. There's no more thrill of watching a particular character or scene come to life. There's no joy of feeling the novel flow through your fingertips, this is where you sit down with your red pen or stylus in hand and start to make all the tough decisions. Scenes and sections are going to be cut, sometimes ones that you love. Dialogue you thought was pertinent or powerful is about to be reworked and this is a long process that many writers, including myself simply do not enjoy, but it is a necessary evil. 

Now how on earth could reading your novel over and over again, cleaning up mistakes and reworking words that you fell in love with be a necessity? Simple. You want to put forth the best possible story that you can. You want it to look amazing. You want your reader to not be able to put the book down and you want to look like a polished professional, and if you're going through the traditional publishing lines, you need to look like a pro to people whose job it is to read novels all day long. These are folks who will find the glaring errors in your book and if you're sending in a query letter to an agent or publisher, they're expecting a finished and polished product.

But, when you think about it, that's the same kind of expectation you should apply to self publishing as well if that's the route you're wanting to go. You should always want to look professional because let's be honest...there is a certain expectation out there period that writing needs to look and feel as though a seasoned veteran is at work here. People, ourselves included, will stop reading a blog post quickly when the grammar is poor and the sentence structure and syntax is messy and I know that at one point or another we've all downloaded a book from Amazon we had to put down because it suffered from those same kind of errors.  It doesn't mean those folks are awful or untalented, it just means they rushed the whole process and well, you want your book to be like a fine wine, perfectly fermented and ready to serve and editing is how that gets done. 

That meant for Fallen Angel, there would be no search for an agent or putting together of a query letter until I felt this book was polished and ready to go and to be perfectly honest, this is a process that actually managed to take a few years. Before anyone out there freaks out and thinks that's the norm, it isn't. I've taken a weird path to be where I am at today and I'll explain that in later blogs, but I would be lying to you if I told you that I didn't pour over every single word and question every little thing and I'm glad that I did. I found a few spots in the book where I strayed from my main plot objective and I was able to correct those. I was able to repair and rework dialogue that I discovered didn't work. The bottom line is, I made the book better. 

Despite how boring and arduous the editing process can be, it's worth it. As much as I hated seeing "Chapter One" over and over again, at least I knew my chances of finding another error of any kind were decreasing and at some point soon...I would sit down and read this book and enjoy it to the fullest and when that moment arrived, that would mean it was finally ready. But unlike finishing the first draft, there was no buildup to that moment, just the realization that I had put together a clean and polished book that I was happy with and that meant it was time for the next step...to find an agent and see if my gamble on traditional publishing was about to pay off, and that's where we will pick up next time. Until then.

​When we last left this blog I was sitting on Cloud Nine. After all, the first draft of Fallen Angel was finished at last and I decided it was high time to take a couple of days and bask in the joy of the fact that I finally pulled this off and let me tell you, that was a wonderful couple of days. I caught up on all the sleep I apparently needed, birds were chirping louder, the skies were brighter...okay, those last two things didn't really happen but there was a permanent smile on my face and a sense of relief and accomplishment while I reveled in getting the job done.  

But emotions like that fade with time and after those few days had past my mind started to wander back to the task at hand, the book and what comes next because there was more work to be done. For starters the book needed some serious editing work, despite the fact I was happy with the story, I knew there were spelling and syntax errors and who knew what else because while writing at three in the morning can be fun...sometimes what comes out on the page after a sleepless night doesn't quite make all that much sense.  Plus after all of that was done, there was a much larger question that needed to be answered as well, how was I going to get this thing published?

This was perhaps one of the most important decisions I would be making for the future of the book, since there are several options out there now for writers when it comes to how to get published. I could go the traditional route, find an agent and try my luck with the big five in New York City. Or I could go with what I will refer to as the Indie route, where I find an agent, or handle matters myself and hunt down a small regional publisher to bring my book to life...or go the more popular route right now...and publish this bad boy myself. It was at the time, a bit of an overwhelming decision to make and I felt it only right to put anything else for the book on hold until I made up my mind on which route to take.

My reasoning for making this such a priority was simple, once I made the call and saw it through to completion...there was no going back and while there is no true way to know which call is the right call, the best thing that I could do was dig in and research the many options at my fingertips and see which one resonated with me the most after looking at all of the pros and the cons and I'm quite glad I went about it this way. My research taught me plenty. I learned just how much support you get from a big time publisher and also how tough it is to get in there, especially these days. I also learned how much regional publishing has grown and if you find the right one they can take good care of you, the only downside is your exposure may not be as grand as you would hope for it to be. But more importantly, I got a good understanding of the ins and the outs of self publishing. 

In a nutshell, I learned that you are the only person in your support network when it comes to self publishing. You write it, market it and all the sales ride upon how much work and effort you're willing to put into it. It's truly a small business you run and after taking the time to learn about it...I realized that it simply isn't for me. Now by no means am I putting self publishing down because it is a powerful tool. Writers that have slipped through the publishing cracks have made a career out of it and it's a wonderful place for ideas not considered bankable because hey I get it, the name of the game is business and marketability is a big factor in all of this. It simply came down to...I felt that I had a role in this process and that was to write, and collaboration with other literary minds would be the key to my success.

I'm human. I make mistakes, I miss stuff and sometimes I marry myself to an idea that I think is strong and the fact of the matter is, I could completely be in the wrong. This is where and editor or an agent come into play, to give me that honest assessment and guide my mind and the story, or cut the parts that are simply unnecessary and I'm good with that. In fact that idea of collaboration was only reinforced by my experiences in screenwriting since I've had producers find ways to further enhance the story. So, with all of that in mind, the choice was made...it was time to try and publish traditionally and that meant it was time to get back to work. This book wasn't going to edit itself and the hunt for an agent was about to begin, and that's where we will pick up next time. Until then.

It amazes me sometimes how quickly our mood and our perspective on something can change, all from a good night's sleep. We could be in the worst of moods and slowly drift off into dreamland tossing and turning with fury and the next thing we know we wake up feeling refreshed and happy and ready to start the day. Sometimes we go to bed feeling happy and refreshed and ready to take on what the next day has in store for us, and the next thing you know you wake up grouchy and ready to stay home and leave the world outside where it belongs.  

That kind of weird little paradigm shift in my mind came about before I finally finished Fallen Angel. Like we discussed in the last blog, I was marathoning my way to the end, blasting out chapter after chapter and feeling pretty damn good about it. I knew the end was drawing near and I thought a couple of days of solid sleep would get me ready for that final push. But instead rest and relaxation produced something I wasn't expecting...perspective. Suddenly it all hit me. This was really happening. I was about to finish this and accomplish a goal that months ago I never thought was possible and well, the reality that this journey was coming to its end...left me a little melancholy.

I was enjoying every single second I spent with these characters. I loved diving into this world, albeit a bit of a darker one than our own, to live an adventure and help bring it to life and quite frankly...the experience of writing this book changed me. I was...a lazy son of a bitch before I started this journey. Heck if I had gotten my ass out of bed before noon, it was a Christmas miracle. If I did more than park myself on the couch to watch television all day you would have wondered if a Pod Person had replaced me. I liked who I was writing this, I was suddenly responsible. Laundry was always done. Meals were always prepped and television became a reward because every little thing I accomplished or put off that wasn't important gave me time to write. So I guess part of me thought that maybe that lazy version of me would return when all of this was done. 

Now all of this may sound silly and that's just fine. But I promised all of you an honest look at what novel writing is all about and as I've mentioned before, this is an isolated and personal process and now you know how much this really mattered to me, since I feel I kind of glossed over it when I talked about that moment when fear and doubt came calling. But to me, that little sliver of sadness was important, because it reminded me of how far I had come. In that moment, I realized I was simply ashamed of the man I was before I started all of this. I felt as though I had wasted so much time when I could be happy and doing this and well...coming to that realization was just what I needed. After all, this wasn't the last thing I was ever going to write, this was simply the beginning of a bigger journey, a chapter in my own story since I had other ideas for future novels involving James Brigman.

That meant it was time to say goodbye to breaks and pondering on the story, it was simply time to finish what I started. It turned out that I had a couple of consecutive days off coming up in the next week, and that was the perfect time to sit down and bang the last of this out. So as that magical time drew near, I got all the meals I needed ready for that day, got every single chore around the house I could imagine completed because Sunday was the day, and when it arrived and I sat down at my computer to write, everything felt different this time.  There was in fact, a strange calm that washed over me as I started to type and I welcomed it. 

There was no more frantic pacing to reach a particular chapter. No more pausing to make sure I was on the right track, just The Stride once again, and I noticed when I broke for lunch that while I hadn't turned out a king's ransom in pages, I was happy with every single word that I had put on the page. It was a comfortable pace, one that denoted care and I kept it at that pace all day, savoring every last word as minutes turned into hours, day turned to evening and evening turned to night. I wanted to enjoy this, I wanted to soak it all in because I knew what came next, editing, query letters, all the technical stuff that would be fun...but not as magical as this. 

It was three in the morning when I finally reached the end of Fallen Angel and I would like to tell you that I celebrated it in some fancy fashion like Paul Sheldon in Stephen King's Misery, with a cigarette and champagne, or that I had the police called out because I was too loud celebrating. But none of that happened. Instead I sat there in silence, with tears in my eyes. It was done, and the sense of satisfaction that I felt in my soul was unlike anything that I had ever felt before in my life. Yet at the same time the joy coursing through my veins was complimented by a sense of relief. Like I mentioned long ago when we started this blog series, a good story infects your mind through and through, day and night...and with all of it on the page, there was finally some semblance of silence in my mind.  So I did the only thing that made sense at three in the morning...I climbed into bed and slept like the dead. Happy and satisfied that I had finally reached the end.