To Fleet Admiralty:

Per your request to be apprised of any major skirmishes, unusual events, or developments in the situation in the frontier regions, please find attached recording of Fleet Engagement in the nebulae outside Helios Alpha on 15th May 2021. Colonial Fleet Intelligence Council official report follows:

DRADIS data indicated enemy movement of indeterminate size through Helios Alpha region; With Commander Murray's flagship 5th Fleet still re-spooling FTL drives near Sagittaron, he was forced to utilize the understrength 6th Fleet. Cmdr. Murray ordered Commander Baron to move to strike range and begin reconnaissance. Recon ascertained the presence of a sizable Cylon strike force, likely meant either to idle in the region and disrupt travel and communications, or possibly as an attacking force meant for specific military targets beyond. Cmdr. Murray recalled recon, joined 6th Fleet, and moved to attack. Upon completion of FTL Jump into battle formation, it became apparent the Cylon forces had been caught completely by surprise and were still in a travel formation which facilitated visibility but not hard-hitting battle lines.

Viper squadrons were immediately deployed, and the enemy responded in kind. Their Raider Prototypes continue to show weaknesses associated with early, non-battle-tested designs and were no match for the Viper squadrons. Additionally, as you can see from the recording, the new Mark II variant is vastly exceeding performance expectations, and this Intelligence Council further reiterates their recommendation that all squadrons still equipped with Mk. I Vipers are updated to the new variant as quickly as possible. These Viper squadrons quickly secured total fighter-class supremacy over the battle space.

The center of the enemy fleet consisted of three Revenant-class gunships. As you know, these ships – which the Cylons developed from one of our Scorpion-class gunships captured in the early days of the conflict – are capable of annihilating even an Artemis-class Battlestar under a withering barrage of gunnery. Cmdr. Murray split his fleet into two “stacks,”; one consisting of his two Artemis-class Battlestars and one consisting of his four Adamant-class Frigates. Arranging the stacks into a “V” shape, he took advantage of the surprise and used his Viper squadrons to funnel the enemy gunships down the center of the “V” one by one before they could regroup into a proper battle line from patrol formation.

The result would seem to suggest that Cmdr. Murray’s “Stack” formation idea has merit, especially in terms of providing multiplicative defensive benefits to ships in a stack; while a single Revenant-class has previously been shown to best groups of two Artemis-class or up to five Adamant-class ships, his stacks impeded the enemy from focusing their fire and as a result all ships in the formations shared only light damage, rather than one ship suffering serious harm. The “V” shape, along with the stack, allowed his capital ships to focus their gunnery for maximum effect. Cmdr. Murray suggests other fleet officers’ experiment with the “Stack” formations: quote follows: “Although we saw firepower magnification in the expected levels, the Stacks provided an unexpectedly high effectiveness of defense not previously predicted. I’d love to know whether that extra defense was the result of my Stack formations, the Viper interdiction, or the improvised response the Cylons had to undertake.” The Intelligence Council agrees with his assessment and officially recommends further examination of the Stack formation.
 
Further to the effectiveness of the Viper Mk. IIs mentioned above, later in the recording they are used to singlehandedly sweep up and destroy multiple enemy Talon-class light carriers; this indicates Viper Mk IIs may remain effective even with less-than-usual capitol ship support, as their destructive ability and improved maneuverability allow them a level of operational independence not seen in the Mk. I variant.

System-Wide alert: the enemy only deployed a single Nemesis-class corvette; this is in keeping with the pattern examined in other regions, as the enemy continues to reduce corvette-class numbers. Additionally, we have noticed a reduction in quality of the Nemesis-class ships which are appearing in combat: in the background at 1:51 you can see the Nemesis being destroyed by a single combined missile barrage from Cmdr. Murray’s four Adamant-class frigates. In the past this would have required a minimum of two combined barrages, and typically three barrages plus a gunnery assault. It is the belief of this Intelligence Council that the Cylons are funneling resources previously used for corvettes into new construction. This reallocation of resources may result in larger numbers of more powerful ships, or in the deployment of a previously unseen enemy craft. This Council believes these deployments could come at any time and advises all Colonial Fleet officers to be unusually vigilant about unidentified or unconfirmed DRADIS contacts.

Good morning my fellow captains and admirals, it is hailing frequencies open for another edition of The Admiral’s Log and boy am I excited to settle in and talk Star Trek Online with all of you today. Because after several weeks of grinding through the 11th Anniversary Event, a great deal of us should be close to obtaining, or already have the T6 Temer-class Alliance Raider that the game is offering as this year’s reward for sticking with that aforementioned grind and well… I’m excited over the fact that we are going to spend a lot of time talking about that ship today. Simply because I love talking about the various ships of the line in this game. Because before we dive in, you’ve probably noticed that such a review, is a slight deviation from what I promised at the end of the ‘Leap of Faith’ Recap, since I’d made mention of the fact that we were going to talk about what this year’s anniversary event looked like in great detail.
 
But let’s be honest, no one wants to talk about the nit and grit of the grind, because we lived it. Nor does anyone want to hear about how many times I stabilized Omega Molecules, or what patrols I made use of on a regular basis to earn my reward. You all want to talk about the new ship and whether or not it is worth your while, since the last Alliance reward underwhelmed a bit. Thanks to its slow maneuverability and lack of innovation. But the good news, is that there is actually quite a bit to like about the Temer Raider. Such as the fact that it is aesthetically pleasing. Since there is something quite beautiful about seeing Romulan and Klingon innovation come together to create a vessel that is part Romulan Warbird and part Bird of Prey, to the point where the wings even move into attack position when Red Alert is sounded, and it is that kind of little stuff that we the fans love and eat up and the good stuff with this vessel doesn’t end there.
 
Because this is actually quite the fierce little ship in combat. Thanks to the fact that her initial weapons load out boasts five forward weapons, consisting of three anti-proton cannons and two photon torpedo launchers. Which makes her a predator in essence, since those cannons and those torpedoes will rip shields to shred with a sustained assault and to top it all off… the little sucker is fast and maneuverable. Which really is the anthesis of its sister ship, since there are no more long turn times and impulse engines that appear to be powered by molasses. In fact, this vessel is able to turn on a dime, which allows for quality combat to take place. But while those features definitely give the player some joy and a sense of outright superiority, since you’re able to hammer an opponent with impunity, there are pros and cons to every vessel in the game and this one has its unfortunate drawbacks as well.
 
Such as the fact that it is a little too fast and too maneuverable at times. Which seems like a petty nitpick but bear with me. Because you want a smooth flight when you’re doing whatever you’re doing in a space-based mission, and I couldn’t help but notice that the littlest bump on the controller, would wildly change my course on a moment’s notice, prompting me to correct my course, on several occasions. But while that is something that might disappear after practice with the ship, since they do require a little time to master… the one glaring issue that cannot be fixed, is her aft weapons load out. For there is only a single weapons slot. One that comes initially with a photon torpedo launcher. That’s it. Which means that if an enemy flanks you, you have to give the ol’ girl a flip to give that sneak the business. Which is fine, since it flips fast… but if your forward shields are weakened, as they often are since you’ve got her nose and weapons array pointed at an opponent, your hull will take a beating.
 
Plus, constantly having to flip to chase off or punish a flanking vessel, slows down combat. Which seems counterintuitive as to what this is vessel is designed to accomplish. If anything, it is probably best to use this ship in Task Force Operations or in coordinated fleet missions, so that her flank can be protected and so that she can be properly utilized in ripping shields to shreds. But as for being an everyday vessel, well that’s up to the player for certain. Since its combat drawbacks might make it a liability. So, personally, I’ll keep the A.F.S. Valkyrie (CSN-7541) in my active roster for missions that require speed and force, but the U.S.S. Galactica will remain my primary vessel. Since the Odyssey-class boasts incredible versatility and firepower and well, now that the Anniversary Event is coming to a close, the time has come to turn our attention to the wonder of First Contact Day and what that celebration looks like this year, is where this blog will pick up, next time. Until then, Galactica out.

Well, hello again my fellow captains and admirals! It is hailing frequencies open once again for The Admiral’s Log and well, I hope that each and every one of you out there are enjoying this year’s Anniversary Event in Star Trek Online. For this admiral has come to discover that there is a ton to do this year, to the point where I am finding myself in game for a lot longer than I usually am, and that’s not a bad thing in the slightest. Because this is STO we are talking about here and being able to fly about the galaxy in your own starship and live your own Trek adventure is just the best. Especially when some of the missions you take part in, dive into aspects of the franchise that have only been touched upon lightly, such as today’s spotlighted episode.
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For the finale mission in 'House Reborn' deals with Klingon Religion in the most unique way imaginable. For ‘Leap of Faith’ revolves around J’Ula’s attempts to reunite Chancellor L’Rell’s soul with her body and well… that takes the player into a place that up until now has only been relegated to myth and legend and outright hallucination… Gre’thor. Which is basically, the Klingon equivalent of Hell for those unfamiliar with the word and uh, gotta admit, this was quite the surprising destination to inject into the game. Because it more or less confirms that an afterlife exists in a universe where science rules the day, and uh… that likely means we need to settle in and discuss the implications of that somewhere down the line, since that is a huge deal. 

But in the here and the now, it is best we focus upon the mission itself, because it does boast quite the wild story. One that is full of surprises and offers out a shout out to the franchise's rich past. Since our voyage through Gre’thor does indeed feature the Barge of the Dead, a method of transport that was first featured in a Star Trek: Voyager episode, that boasts the same name as that boat, complete with the ferry master that appeared in that particular tale and it is rather wild to be standing on this barge whilst you wait to enter the gates of Hell and what you find there, is equally as incredible. For it is the perfect hybrid of the human concept of Hell, with all the Klingon aesthetics that speak to dishonor and the wonder of this fascinating place don’t end there.

Because eventually, you get to meet and fight, Fek’lhr. Who just so happens to be the Klingon equivalent of the Devil and your battle with him is all part of the plan to free L’Rell. Which of course you manage to do, giving hope to all that the Empire might find peace and unity and the Warrior’s Way once again. But while that is a happy ending to a fantastical tale, let’s be honest… there’s one big surprise hanging over this particular tale that genuinely leaves one excited for the future of Klingon themed storytelling in this game. Simply because we also came to learn that Gowron, the once proud and eventually mad Chancellor of the High Council, that appeared in multiple episodes of The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine​, is roaming about the Klingon afterlife and looking for purpose, and well… he might be returning to the forefront of storytelling when this mess is over and that really is a fascinating prospect.

Simply because he could potentially redeem himself for his sour ending in DS9 and it will be interesting to see what STO does with the character down the line. But while we wait for that day to come, we can bask in what is hands down, the game’s most unique story to date. Because this one really is loaded to the brim with all kinds of philosophical concepts about Heaven and Hell and morality, and it does add an incredible wrinkle to the Klingon mythos for certain and one does have to wonder if Star Trek Online will explore this further on down the line, by perhaps even going so far as to explore what lies beyond the gates of Sto-vo-kor. But for now, the time has come for the Empire and its civil war to potentially come to a close and since it will be some time before those missions arrive, it is back to the Anniversary grind and what that looks like, is precisely where this blog will pick up, next time. Until then, Galactica out.

Well, hello again my fellow captains and admirals! It is hailing frequencies open for The Admiral’s Log and in today’s edition of this blog, the time has come to once again dive into a brand-new episode in Star Trek Online. Because the launch of ‘House Reborn’ brought with it two fresh stories for players to partake in and truth be told, I was pretty darn excited to dive into these. Simply because the writing has been top-notch in this game as of late, since this plot thread has provided us with one of the juiciest Klingon related storylines in years. One that has put the future of the Empire in great peril and well, when we catch up with J’Ula in ‘Knowledge is Power’, she is hoping to save the Klingon Empire by walking the same path as her brother did two centuries ago.

Which means it is off to the monastery world of Boreth, to see what the Time Crystals that reside there can teach her. Which of course, immediately gets the player excited to walk the hallowed halls that Captain Christopher Pike once did. But alas, shortly after a quick battle, it becomes clear that your character won’t be beaming down to the planet. Instead, you are relegated to combat patrol above the planet to keep J’Ula safe, leaving one to wonder exactly how this episode is going to play out and how exactly you get to stand in those aforementioned halls… and that is when the game outright surprises you, by allowing for you to take control of the now redeemed J’Ula and experience her journey through Boreth firsthand, and this is just… brilliant.

Because it allows for players that haven’t chosen the KDF path in game, to finally get a proper Klingon experience. One that teaches the player about the proud traditions of the Empire and the power of honor as you go through some fascinating and difficult trials with J’Ula. The kind that features combat with Klingon legends and J’Ula’s inner self in order to find the answers she so desperately seeks and speaking of combat, I honestly didn’t expect to find much of that in this mission since Boreth is an isolated and sacred world. But alas, J’mpok’s treachery and bloodlust know no bounds and that forces the player to genuinely fight for every inch forward in this mission and that also makes the finale of this tale quite satisfying to say the least. Since you eventually reach the Time Crystals and take part in some powerful visions.

The kind that shows J’Ula the end of Qo’noS and the end of the Empire and our main character’s life as well, if J’Ula opts to stay on this current path, and you’re also treated to a fascinating vision that sees a being forged in fire, hoist the sword of Kahless to the sky, in order to finally reunite the houses and well, it is that second vision that brought forth the finest moment in this tale. For Tenavik (played brilliantly by Sam Witwer here) realizes that the forging in fire aspect of that vision, relates to a special facility on Boreth. One that can clone old heroes in a time of need for the Empire and toying with that once again, brings forth the return of Chancellor L’Rell. A Klingon warrior that is so savvy and so brave that she should be able to bring order to chaos… provided of course J’Ula can bring L’Rell’s soul back to her body and it would seem that quest will be the focus of the second episode in this arc.

An arc that quite frankly, is about as epic as they come. Because this particular story, while intimate in nature, really does make it clear that the Klingon Empire is in complete and utter chaos at the moment, to the point where warring factions are eager to throw courtesy and tradition aside and well, it will only get worse before it gets better. Which definitely compels the player and this admiral to continue the journey post-haste. So, we can all learn exactly how J’Ula will pull L’Rell’s soul from Sto-vo-kor and reunite it with her body, and see firsthand... how exactly the resurrected chancellor will figure out how to unite a completely fractured Empire and well, that particular journey is where this the log will pick up, next time. Until then, Galactica out.

Well, hello again my fellow captains and admirals! Its hailing frequencies open for another edition of The Admiral’s Log and boy do we have a lot of goodies to discuss today. Because it’s that time of the year again, since anniversary season in Star Trek Online is upon us. Which means that our favorite game is loaded to the gills with all kinds of treats right now. After all, ‘House Reborn’ is now live, and there’s new missions that expand upon what happened in ‘Partisans’ for us to partake in. Plus, there’s a new Alliance ship out there to obtain and well… that means the grind to earn one is in full effect, since this year the criteria to snag that puppy is slightly different.
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Because for the 11th Anniversary event, you have to earn two points per day toward your reward goal. Which means just scanning for and stabilizing Omega Particles isn’t going to cut it. No instead, you’ll need to finish some missions and patrols in order to earn your keep. Which means that in the coming weeks, I’ll be chronicling my own quest to get my hands on that Romulan-themed beauty and of course… we’ll be recapping all the new missions in great detail. Because it is always a joy to settle in and nerd out about this game with all of you fine fleet officers. However, before we begin to dig deep into all of the new offerings from this phenomenal anniversary event, we still have some catching up to do on a prior mission.

For I didn’t get the chance to complete and discuss the last element of the ‘House Shattered’ expansion, which was the ‘Synth Wave’ TFO and well, now that I’ve finally had the chance to do that, boy do I have some serious regretti. Because this Star Trek: Picard themed mission is simply a powerhouse TFO, and I really should have played this sooner. For this is a mission that plunges the player into an incredible hypothetical simulation. One that ponders upon what would have happened if Starfleet was able to respond to the Synth Attack on Mars that happened on First Contact Day in 2385 and well, the first fascinating tidbit of truth to come out of that particular hypothesis, is that Starfleet captains… would have been overwhelmed at the sight of seeing a core Federation world burning beneath their ships.

Which isn’t some metaphorical exaggeration. Mars really is burning, while wave after wave of Synth assembled vessels work to slaughter innocent lives and that makes this one intense TFO for certain. One that forces the player to slip into triage mode and save whomever they can as the situation deteriorates into a hopeless Kobayashi Maru type scenario. But all world-building and intensity of the mission aside, this mission is so rich and so detailed, that you cannot help but sit there for a second and take a moment to appreciate the work that hat went into its creation. Because this is a living and breathing nightmare, one that genuinely captures the scope of this dark day, and it doesn’t hurt that Holst’s classic; ‘Mars: The Bringer of War’ is the soundtrack for this particular mission either. 

If anything, all of these elements make this quite the intense ride, one where at times your vision is blurred by the abundance of warp core breaches surrounding your ship and really, in the end, this just goes to show that everyone involved in this game… is working hard to create an immersive Star Trek experience. One that tugs at your feels and drops your jaw and this particular mission definitely accomplishes that, and it leaves this admiral eager to dive into the new Klingon missions. Just to see what kind of epic writing they are going to offer, and now that we’ve wrapped up this particular TFO, and are all caught up on any prior goals, those exact missions are where we will pick up next time. Until then, Galactica out.

Well, hello again my fellow captains and admirals in Star Trek Online. It is hailing frequencies open for another and horrendously overdue edition of The Admiral’s Log and for that I do apologize. But alas, life sometimes gets in the ways of things, to the point where I’ve even had to step away a bit, from daily endeavor goals in this dynamic game. But thankfully, chaos never lasts and the time has come to return to this blog  and the game, for several reasons. First and foremost, because I miss writing about STO and all the awesome things you can do in this digital universe, and I definitely want to continue my Retro Replay series as the new year continues along. 

But more importantly, I’m eager to chat about the game with all of you once again, simply because, there is new content to explore! For ‘House Shattered’ is live on consoles at last and with its arrival comes a brand-new mission to review and a fascinating TFO to play, which we will get into later. Because this new episode is one that we have absolutely have to highlight, thanks to the fact that it offers ups a big moment and something that I really wasn’t expecting to find this in this particular tale, a boatload of comedy. After all, when we last left this storyline behind in STO, the player was basically forbidden to enter Klingon space, out of fear of being hunted for treason against the Chancellor. Which is a bleak way to end an episode, and it definitely adds a sense of urgency to clear your name in the new tale, ‘Partisans’.

However, once you and your crew arrive on Nimbus III in order to speak with someone that can potentially harvest data for you to clear your name with the Empire and the galaxy… the comedy starts to come into play. Since you have to sneak through Madran’s club, in order to reach your contact, who is a quirky Southern smuggler with a bevy of one-liners standing at the ready and the funny stuff doesn’t end there. Because of course, Madran is happy to sell your character out to the Klingons and anyone else that wants in on the bounty that the Empire has put upon your head, and that leads to a grand showdown with Madran. One where he is able to offer up some quips of his own, complete with a blink and you’ll miss it Zoolander reference and well… it’s a good thing that this particular tale takes the time to lighten the mood.

Because it isn’t long before you’re off to clear your name and once you have the data in hand, things get pretty darn heavy. For Chancellor J’mpok and his loyalists arrive to stop you with an impressive flotilla of powerful ships. But of course, they eventually fail in their venture and J’ula is able to broadcast the truth and clear your name and that leads to the shocking moment in question. Because the devastating truth that J’mpok lied to so many, motivates a great deal of the various houses to simply walk away from this fight and declare themselves as independent from the Empire. Leaving J’mpok alone and eager to declare himself Emperor, and it rattles J’ula as well, since her fight for power shattered the Empire and ruined her brother’s legacy. Leaving her destitute and lost. 

Which is an epic way to end this episode, since it adds all kinds of uncertainty to the future of the galaxy and the Empire. Because with J’mpok able to do his own thing, there’s a real risk that all kinds of war might occur. For the conflict within the Klingon Empire could expand, and J’mpok might go after the Federation once more and threaten the sanctity of the Alliance in the process, and really in the end, all of these elements make this episode quite brilliant. Because once again, the writers are posing new challenges for the galaxy in 2411 and it will be incredibly interesting to see where this story takes us next, now that the once proud and united Klingon Empire is left in tatters. But while we wait to see what awaits a shattered empire, there is plenty to do in STO to pass the time. Such as take a moment to explore what this new TFO has to offer, and that is precisely what next’s week log entry is going to focus upon. Until then, Galactica out.

Thanks to some friends, I started playing Deep Rock Galactic earlier this year and I’ve discovered a delightful game I can play with friends, with strangers, or even alone, with variety to keep me hooked no matter how many hours I’ve put in.

On the surface, it’s a remarkably simple game. Become a Dwaven Space Miner, land on a resource-rich planet, navigate a randomly generated series of tunnels, obtain various items, and fight off monster bugs. You’ll spend lots of time shooting bugs with a variety of weapons, and lots of time digging things up out of dirt or digging new tunnels to navigate to new areas. In a masterclass in gameplay design and balance, Developer Ghost Ship Games has kept things fresh and fun with varied environments, satisfying character classes, and missions that remix themselves so no two are exactly alike.

Players can choose between four classes of dwarf: Driller, Engineer, Gunner, and Scout. Each has their own weapons that excel in different areas of combat, unique “Traversal Tools” for getting around the maps, and support tools that help out others in your crew. Every class feels distinct, fun, and capable; anytime I find myself thinking “I wish I was playing another class right now...” I always follow it moments later with the thought “... but then I wouldn’t have this really awesome class I’m playing right now!” You never find yourself feeling like one class is the favorite and another has been neglected; they all feel equally useful in some situations and equally at a disadvantage in others. Satisfyingly, none of them are outright bad at anything, just “okay” at worst, so you always feel like you can contribute to the team. Likewise, you’re always glad to see another player join you no matter what class they’re playing, and others are always happy to have you join them. Even making a team entirely of the same single class still works, since each class is self-sufficient enough to get by and each new player provides more firepower and resources to help you endure even if they don’t bring a new set of tools.

At its heart Deep Rock Galactic is meant for cooperative multiplayer, ideally in a team of four with each person playing a different class, but it works just as well alone or in smaller groups. The difficulty scaling is excellent, deftly adjusting the number of enemies and the availability of health and ammunition to accommodate any combination of players. With five different difficulty levels, seven different mission types, and eight different environmental biomes each with their own unique environmental hazards, no two missions ever feel exactly alike, and you’ll find yourself facing fresh challenges thanks to differing environments and enemy compositions even if your team composition never changes. Plus, thanks to randomly generated maps, even if you fail a mission and immediately restart you will have a totally different cave layout to contend with, so the game never feels repetitive. And if you do decide to go it alone instead of playing with a group or joining a public match, you have the option of bringing along a helpful robot to watch your back and keep you working efficiently, even with only one set of hands. I’ve played many solo missions and can personally assure you that, while nothing quite beats the thrill of hearing your friends cheers or shouts in your headset, the game itself is just as rewarding when played alone.

The missions are rewarding beyond the thrill of success too, thanks to a well-paced experience system that has you unlocking new gear, weapons, customization items, and even new beers to drink on the Space Rig lobby between missions. Unlocks come quickly enough that you never feel like you have to slog through a repetitive grind, but slowly enough that you always have something new to look forward to. Actual equipment is unlocked just through playing the game and leveling each class up, and then a one-time purchase of in-game credits and materials lets you buy the gun or piece of gear forever. Mined crafting materials from the levels let you purchase upgrades for your equipment, and cosmetics unlock through level-based challenges, side-objectives uncovered during missions, and are even occasionally gifted to you outright. Although there are some paid cosmetic DLC packs, I’ve never once felt like I’ve had a shortage of cool ways to customize my dwarves.

If you’re even remotely interested in co-op shooters or team exploration adventures, you owe it to yourself to check out Deep Rock Galactic. While you’re guaranteed adventure and excitement, who knows what else you might dig up?

Are ya ready, kids?! The summer of 2020 took us back to a pineapple under the sea with the release of THQ Nordic’s SpongeBob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated, a remake of the original 2003 game. The cult classic fan favorite is back with polished graphics, a new game mode, and plenty of aquatic hijinx, bringing SpongeBob gaming back for a modern era of consoles and a new generation of fans. We take a look at all of the good, bad, and “F.U.N.” that Rehydrated delivers!
 
F is for Freshening Up the Visuals
First and foremost, the team at THQ Nordic did an outstanding job brightening up and sharpening the look of the original 2003 game. When you think of SpongeBob, you picture the colorful and vivid characters, scenes, and backdrop of the original cartoon. There, the characters are dynamic in their visuals and movements, and the colorful coral and flowery clouds against the light blue sea present a familiar background. 
 
These iconic looks didn’t always translate to the original, as the characters looked stiff and boxy and as the scenery appeared a bit dim, thanks to the technological constraints of the time. All of this is improved upon in Rehydrated, delivering on the game’s promise of “high-end visuals, modern resolutions and carefully polished gameplay.” The upgraded resolutions are especially nice, bringing the old, pixelated 2003 characters to life. From a visual standpoint alone, Rehydrated nails what you look for in a remake of a game. 
 
U is for Ups and Downs
While the enhanced visuals notch an early win for Rehydrated, the game has its ups and downs beyond presentation. Unfortunately, while the game looks better, some levels and specific mechanics of the game play as sloppily as they did in the old version. At its best, it provides challenging and entertaining puzzles to work through in a fun environment, with nostalgia and humor peppered in. At its worst, it’s a tedious slog to maneuver through certain levels or tasks. Here are some of the Krabby Patties (a.k.a. good things) and Chumburgers (a.k.a. bad things) from the game. 

N is for New and Old Things, Down Here in the Deep Blue Sea
Rehydrated does a solid job of walking the fine line between staying true to the original game and adding new content that remakes have to navigate, but perhaps skews a little more heavily to the former. 
 
Starting with what’s new, Rehydrated adds a multiplayer horde mode where you take on swarms of robots. It allows you to play as Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Gary, or Robo-Plankton for the first time ever (which is very fun) and adds in other content that was cut from the 2003 version, including a robot-Squidward boss and an alternate version of Patrick’s dream. The mode is a nice addition, but isn’t necessarily worth getting the game for. As is the case in the main story, fighting the same crew of robot enemies can grow old and irritating pretty quickly. 
 
The game also does a good job of fan-service with its additions, adding some fun treats in for SpongeBob fans. SpongeBob, Sandy, and Patrick all have new idle animations, including a hilarious “surprised Patrick” animation pulled from the 2004 movie and the ever-popular meme. Other references to newer episodes are scattered throughout the game. 
 
Through these additions and through the improvements to the original game, Rehydrated brings sparks a lot of nostalgic memories. It may not offer too much to someone who didn’t play the original version or who isn’t a massive SpongeBob fan, but it’s a joy to revisit and it should serve as a great introduction for younger fans of the show trying out the game for the first time. Coming back to it nearly 20 years later made me appreciate how well it holds up. It also felt to me like it would be a blast to try and speedrun for a new challenge. 

The game certainly has its ups and downs. The pace can get bogged down in some of the clunky mechanics, as gameplay teeters between being too easy or just plain frustrating. But, with that in mind, it still finds a way to deliver plenty of cartoonish fun. If you’re yearning for a piece of the past or if you’re a SpongeBob fan looking to dive into the underwater world of your favorite characters, the improved graphics and the nostalgia factor may make it worth picking up a copy of Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated.

Well hello again my fellow starship commanders and welcome to another edition of The Admiral’s Log, and in today’s edition of this here chat about Star Trek Online we have quite the treat to cover. Because last week’s launch of ‘House Divided’ provided fans everywhere with two delightful new episodes to play, and at long last, the time has come to review the second chapter in this new saga; ‘The Khitomer Discord’. An episode that is quite frankly of major note, simply because it does some incredible things storytelling wise. Which is funny, since this particular story feels like a by the numbers mission in this game, at first glance.
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Because early on in this tale, you do some pretty basic stuff. Such as fly to Khitomer and search the Alliance facility planet side in the hopes of finding J’ula and well, talking to folks in order to get clues and solving puzzles with the map and your tricorder makes for some pretty pedestrian stuff. And there’s little thrill to be found in searching for your target. Because you know you’re going to find J’ula, largely due to the fact that you’re a Starfleet officer and Starfleet always finds the villain. But once you are face to face with the mastermind of a new Klingon Civil War, that’s when the story takes quite the powerful turn. For some secrets come to light, such as the fact that J’ula had zero involvement in killing all those civilians in the last episode.

In fact, her aide Aakar, was the one responsible for that reprehensible attack and he conducted such an act… to help the Chancellor conduct a power grab. One that you are now unfortunately involved in, and in order to keep your character silent from revealing the unfortunate truth that J’mpok is using this war to lock down control of the Klingon Empire and change its course and role in the Alliance, the Chancellor plans to kill you, and that’s when this episode truly takes the story to a whole new level. Because J’mpok uses the Mycelial Rift weapon to kill innocents at Alliance HQ and well… for the first time ever, you come within an inch of your own mortality in the game, which is quite the surprise for certain and the story only gets darker from there.

Because one of your side missions as you try to escape the assault, is to rescue as many innocent lives as you can and well, this is something that I and likely others, have failed at. Because the rift is constantly closing in and trying to rescue folks from that, while the Elachi attack from afar, leads to the death of innocents. And yes, I know, they’re digital and they’re not real. But the fact that this game, actually takes the time to have you face death in any fashion, when it lets you cheat it often via a re-spawn, is pretty damn incredible. As is the ending of this particular tale. For when this story has come to a close, you’re essentially on the run as an enemy of the Empire, without any idea of how to clear your name and that’s just downright brilliant.

For this is brave storytelling for certain, the kind that takes risks in a game where happy endings prevail and it is just wonderful to see STO trying out something new in this manner and truly, it has me excited for where this story is headed. Because the possibilities are genuinely endless at this particular point and this is really the first time that this game feels as unpredictable and as dynamic as a television show and I know I’ll be counting down the days to the next episode in this new storyline, because I need to know how it ends. But alas, it will be a while before we get more fresh stories. So, in the meantime, I’ll pass the time by continuing my daily routine in game and by playing the new TFO missions that ‘House Divided’ offers as well, and it just so happens that a review of those exact missions is precisely where this blog will pick up, next time. Until then, Galactica out.

Well hello again my fellow starship commanders! It’s hailing frequencies open for The Admiral’s Log and in today’s edition of this here blog, we have new content to discuss! Because at long last, Star Trek Online brought ‘House Divided’ to consoles and well, it is just wonderful to yet again be enjoying brand new episodes in STO and really, the folks behind the scenes deserve some serious applause for what they’ve put together this time around. Because the ‘The Centre Does Not Hold’ is quite the epic adventure, one that outright feels like a digital adaptation of a television episode thanks to the incredible moments it brings to the table. 
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A feat that is accomplished by way of an important meeting that you are asked to attend on Qo’nos. For J’ula is finally going to stand before the Klingon High Council and answer for her crimes. Which seems fairly by the numbers and unremarkable since we’ve seen this before in the Star Trek Universe. But what makes this particular part of the episode so epic and so special, is its subtlety and ability to surprise. Because you quickly come to learn that J’ula has been quietly sowing discontent and discord amongst the houses of the Empire. And that her poisonous and dangerous words have been resonating with anyone that listens since you also find yourself in the middle of a firefight when she attempts to assassinate the Chancellor in the Great Hall. 

But while that alone is pretty stunning and powerful in its own right, this particular tale isn’t quite done yet in providing you with grandiose moments that take your breath away. Because J’ula’s attempt to take Chancellor J’mpok out was merely the beginning of a grand campaign on her part to take control of the Klingon Empire and wage war against the Federation once again. For distress call after distress call comes in once you’ve mopped up her forces in the Great Hall and that leads to some incredible combat sequences. The kind where you face off against House Mo’Kai and their allies. And the endless waves of Birds of Prey that head your way, definitely engender concern, since you start to wonder if the Empire can handle this kind of internal threat, and those worries are extended to Starfleet as well. 

For a distress call from a nearby Starbase clues you into the fact that J’ula spent her time in silence, refining weapons and strategy. Because she is able to infect Federation vessels with a computer virus that can turn them against allies and that leads to more epic combat moments. Since you’re forced to disable Starfleet ships before they can purge their systems of the virus and this endless combat really is something special. Because eventually it motivates you to push harder and win the day and while you are eventually successful in pushing her forces back, the victory comes at quite the ugly price. For the aforementioned Starbase is lost in combat thanks to the virus and innocent Klingon citizens are murdered since J’ula believes fear is the best way to rule and to top it all off, a powerful ally of the Federation, is thrust into chaos. 

Because this is in essence, the beginning of another Klingon Civil War, one that is being waged out of fear and that makes this conflict quite dangerous, and it will be interesting to see where this story takes us in the weeks and months to come. But in the here and the now, this is one hell of a way to kick off this new chapter in the game. Because my goodness, action and adventure are everywhere to be found in this story, and you can never go wrong with a tale that forces you to fight alongside the Enterprise. Because if she’s being called into action, you know the situation is dire and the stakes are high and well, this is just the beginning of this blog’s coverage of this event and everything it has to offer. So, we will definitely be taking a break from the Retro Replays as we explore the new TFO’s present here and of course, the next episode in this storyline, and it just so happens that said new episode is precisely where this Log will resume, come next Thursday. Until then, Galactica out.