Written by Juanita ‘Obi-Juan’ Bonner  Well kids, here we are. Back in Christmasland and ready for more… um… fun!?! Or is it fear? I forget which… LOL! But, before driving back into the heart of this eerie tale, let’s discuss the cover! Because, upon first glance, one may easily overlook some of the deliciously evil nuances. Set up as a Christmas themed playland, we see things like Millie Manx poised to swing a golf club (which actually looks more like a giant bone??) at a severed head while the headless body stands next to her. On a lower level, a game of chase ensues as a child fireman swinging an axe hunts a companion who’s missing limbs. In front of them, two more children are running with said limbs. Throughout, we see evil little spiked teethed creatures laughing and playing as Charlie displays his traditional evil grin at the bottom. It all fits the Christmasland narrative to a tee! No pun intended… LOL!! But what’s really disturbing is that these immortal children fully enjoy dismembering each other for fun as these “games” clearly depict happy participants on either end. Evidenced by the fact that the severed head Millie is about to send flying is actually smiling. I mean, just take a minute to contemplate this because… WOW!!! Christmasland, in all its joy, is basically a loop of soulless bloody child fun and if that’s not a chilling thought, I don’t know what is!! YIKES!! Okay, now that I got that out of the way, let’s “Hip-Hip Snow Ray!” our way through Volume 5 – Chapter 4: Rules of the Game, shall we? Moving on from the cover, though, mentally, not really (LOL!!), the black and white recap page quickly brings us a bit up to speed with just a few panels. NEAT!! And as noted in my own review, the latter half of Volume 4 left us with two stories: Dewey Hansom, the disgusting rapist and kidnapper, and Llewellyn Chess and Agnes Claiborne, the prisoner and guard duo respectively. ‘Ol Dewey is now walking with little Robin Robards, one of the now ageless (and soulless) children he gave to Manx several years ago. Having been abandoned by Denis Sykes, the creepy Carny prisoner who pretended to help, only to steal Dewey’s sawed off shotgun and disappear, Dewey is led to believe Robin also wants to help him. HAHAHA, yeah right!!! Little does he know; Robin’s brethren are creeping up close behind carrying the main instrument for one of Christmasland’s favorite games – Scissors for the Drifter. YIKES!! On the flip side, Chess and Agnes, having taken refuge in one of the Ferris Wheel huts, discuss the glowing balloon Chess retrieved at the end of Volume 4. Agnes asks Chess, “Why’d you risk your life to get a balloon? And why is it glowing like that Ace?” Chess goes on to explain that it’s filled with Delirium-101, the made up gas he used in a story to soothe his dying son. Further, Chess now ties this to something Manx said on the journey to Christmasland – the “Special Ride” required to leave. NICE!! He explains that the balloon itself pulls like “A puppy on a leash.” With Agnes still lost on the subject, (because yeah… why wouldn’t she be?), she asks to hold the balloon. Regardless of her surprise by its pull, she makes the point that with Manx having “An army of monster kids and the only wheels in town,” one balloon makes little difference to their dire situation. Welp, she’s not wrong!! However, the final panel on the page brings yet another cool surprise as Chess, holding the keys to the Wraith remarks: “Who says he has the only wheels in town?” HOLY COW… YES!!! Checking back in on Dewey, little Robin tells him that the other children are “around here somewhere,” while Dewey, in his weakened and blood loss state, has no idea how close the creatures really are. Robin mentions a name – Francine Flynn – as one of the other children Dewey gave to Manx and says she also wants to help. I think… ”Sure… OKAY!” Dewey admits that he and Francine didn’t “part on such good terms.” From here, the segue is nothing short of satisfyingly scary as Robin states: “Because you tried to do things to her? Like the things you were arrested for doing to some other girl?” WHOA!! After a few more details from Robin, including saying Manx was “Really mad,” about Dewey’s treatment of Francine and that games have “Rules,” he tells Dewey he knows a game that’s “So easy no one messes it up.” I mean… I’ve said it before! This rapist and kidnapper deserves what he gets, but holy hell, what follows is bone chilling!! After Robin retrieves a giant pair of scissors from his bear costume (LOL!) and stabs Dewey, he begins to run. Millie, also with giant scissors in one hand AND her trusty sword in the other yells: “Charge! For Christmasland! CHARGE!” Panel after panel, we see Dewey attacked by scary children with their spiked teethed unhinged jaws each carrying their own pair of scissors. WHOA!! After several injuries, Dewey shakes free and with scissors still hanging from various parts of his bloody body (WOW!!), he makes his way on to the carousel. As the ride spins, the children poke (*WINK*) even more fun with jokes while Dewey remarks on how cold he is. A blurry panel as seen from Dewey’s moving point of view, shows a smiling Manx dead center flanked by his grinning children as he says: “It is warmer where you are headed Dewey Hansom! Not warm enough, but it will have to suit!” DAMN!! From where I sit, this one shot looks like a blurry psycho family portrait. YIKES!! Yet another crazy creepy surprise lurks on the next page. The carousel animals are alive!! Because, DUH… OF COURSE THEY ARE… LOL!! As the tiger (Yep, that sounds about right!) rips Dewey apart, in another blurry panel, Manx and family turn to leave. The best part? Manx remarks that grown-ups like ‘Ol Dewey here are “Sly and tricksy,” and that he’ll just have to find a man he can trust to be around his children. “Someone who is a bit of a child himself!” And there you have it! A nod to the origins of the coming NOS4A2 character Bing!! YES!! And now, Dewey Hansom is no more, though I’m pretty sure no one will care… LOL!!  Back in the Ferris Wheel hut, Chess and Agnes are planning their escape. And after all the excitement with Dewey, my mind is racing with what’s next. Agnes is set on making their way to the Wraith, but Chess isn’t so sure as he states: “Actually he [Manx] said the only way in and out is a ride you love. I don’t know how this place works, but – I know I don’t love that hearse of his. Do you?” No Chess, NO WE DON’T!! And considering Agnes rode to Christmasland drugged and in the trunk the whole way, she definitely doesn’t… LOL!! With a panel showing the Wraith next to the Christmas tree adorned with severed heads, Chess continues: "I don’t know if we can get out with his ride. Maybe it’s like a faithful dog. It’ll roll over for him, but if we touch it… we’re liable to get a hand bitten off.” Now that’s a perfect analogy I can fully get on board with. Geez… again, no pun intended… LOL!!
Waiting for the Ferris Wheel to make its way around so they can exit, Chess and Agnes are abruptly interrupted by an unexpected voice – the Man, or rather, the Manx in the Moon!! And if you’ve been following my other work on NOS4A2, you know that I saw the television series before reading these comics. So seeing this figure go in reverse from screen to panel was a dirty delight I can scarcely describe!! I mean, I’m pretty sure I could hear his thundering voice in my head as a string of text bubbles unfold. “GUESS WHAT I SPY ON THE ARCTIC EYE! THE OLD ONE AND THE YOUNG ONE, GOING ROUND AND ROUND! BUT WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN! HIDE-AND-SEEK IS THE NAME OF THE GAME! KILL THESE TWO AND ONLY ONE REMAINS!” Wow, the rhyming… LOL!! HOLY COW, I love it!! It’s cold and scary, yet childlike and playful. It’s no wonder Manx is later drawn to Bing, am I right!?! As Manx looks on towards the moon with a smile, we see Denis Sykes with a top hat and a smug look standing behind him pointing the sawed off shotgun he stole from Dewey. WHOA! I definitely didn’t see that one coming!! The banter between the two fills Sykes in on many details that we, the audience, already know. That Manx’s little children are immortal and will do anything to protect him. That the Wraith made them this way. And finally, that Charlie created Christmasland from his mind and the Wraith takes him to and fro. Sykes determines that Manx may not be as immortal as his children and at gunpoint, the greedy little shit that he is, not only demands the keys to the Wraith, but decides he wants Christmasland as well. Oh Denis, I can’t wait to see how this turns out for you!! LOL! Charlie confesses that: “Alas! I lost them [the keys] in our morning snowball fight. I suspect Mr. Llewellyn of making off with them. I guess you’ll just have to shoot me.” Much to my delight, the final full page panel has Sykes standing over a fallen and head blown Manx with the shotgun smoldering as he tips his top hat and says: “I guess so.” HAHAHA! THE END!! This sure was a devilishly fun chapter!! If you haven’t read it yet, all I can say is what the heck are you waiting for?? The artwork keeps form with the other chapters, but the scare factor turns up quite a bit!! We also get some cute banter between Agnes and Chess up in the Ferris Wheel hut which I loved! So now, there’s only one chapter left in our prison break tale before we hit Volume 7 to close out Charlie’s backstory. This time we lost Dewey Hansom in a game of Scissors for the Drifter that is just as hair raising and bloody as it sounds. Is anyone else next or will Sykes, Agnes and Chess find their way out of Christmasland? Come back next week as we drive straight through Volume 6 – Chapter 5: Shoot the Moon to find out!! And don’t forget to drop by our NOS4A2 Collections page right here. In the meantime, remember what Manx says to Sykes before the headshot: “I would no more give you the Wraith than I would pull out my own heart and hand it to you. They are, anyway, much the same.” *WINK* ‘The Wraith: Welcome to Christmasland’ – Volume 5 – ‘Chapter 4: Rules of the Game’ IDW Publishing; Mar 2014 – Author: Joe Hill; Illustrations: Charles Paul Wilson III; Colors: Jay Fotos; Letters: Shawn Lee and Robbie Robbins; Edits: Chris Ryall
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